lack of jeez..

this is a post of feelings and not abt wat happened to me..
juz a fore warning..
=)

find tat i haf a lack of target, or lack of sumthing to look forward to..
im like living everyday wif the mentality tat i juz haf to pull thru yet another day...
not tinking of anything..
carefree...
dunno wats wrong wif me..
care to share??

wat do i need to do to get a target...
ambitions wise, i haf no freaking idea..
wat im studying now is not wat im gonna work as..
tats for sure..
i suck in it~
tats the prob..
wat am i suppose to do?
future, set aside..
wat abt the present..
other than the burden of maintening a bike n paying for it,
i haf nuting else to tink abt..
im starting to feel shallow...

solution, get a gf to kill time, to occupy the void??
is that possible??
i haf no freaking idea..
one after another my heart shatters tat i darent go near this topic anymore..
maybe i shouldnt be the gd guy....
gd guy dies first wif nuting fulfilling ever happens for him..
while the bad guy gets the gers, lives longer and is usually richer..
so y call the bad guy bad when he's so much better off..
i haf no inkling of whoever set these terms...

im full of angst now..
not to mention sadness as well..
all these are targeted at me of course..
i dunno wats wrong wif me...
things arent wat it seems..
im going no where wif this post..
juz take it wif a pinch of salt..
treat it as crap..
i juz need to verbal vomit it all out~