im juz a jealous guy....

anybody noes the john lennon song, jealous guy??
i tink im like tat..
but it's sumthing i cun help it..
im not the richest guy, im not mr universe neither am i manhunt material..
insecurity would set in..
but guess tats where my ego comes in to leave my esteem up...

but one thing is for sure...
the longer we're together, the lesser this jealousy is...
cos i trust u more wif everyday...
i really hope we wun haf such misunderstanding again...

last nite was the first time i couldnt laff nor smile nor even slp by my own accord...
that 70s show never failed to make me laff..
but they din...
was juz lying on my bed, blanket to my neck...
and juz staring at the tv screen tinking of sumthin else..
or sumone in particular...
i tried to slp by my own..
but i cun..
lethargicness, fatigue took me away...
juz slept wif the tv on..
till morn...

anyway juz wanna say im sorry...
feel damn bad for hurting u...
it pricks in my heart...
but u shld always noe this...
i love u, always........

more to come...

hehe..
yest was our first month anniversary..
kinda fast, a mth juz pass by..
but this mth was the happiest mth i could ever haf...
whenever im wif her, i would smile, laff non stop..
it's like an effect she has on me..
like how i cun get angry wif her..
=P
rite now, my only wish is to haf us like this for many more months, yrs to come...
-grinz-

we din do much yest..
maybe cos we had done quite a bit on xmas itself..
and of course, my wallet is a lil drained..
prepared a bouquet of yellow roses, her fav, and left it in my bike box...
i knew she would always wanna rush to open the box, hence the ploy..
hehe~
she's a person who tends to not show wats she's feeling but i guess she was grinning wif glee in her heart..
=)

it was her fren's bdae tat day, so we gotta attend a bbq at pasir ris park..
nuthing much there except eating and of course the traditional stroll by the beach...
had a nice tok wif her by the breakwater...
feeling the breeze...
listening to the waves..
ahhhhh....
=P
hehe~
a very calming effect..

brought her to changi V for nasi lemak..
and her obsession wif aquas...
haha~
din get to see any at all..
maybe they got raided or wat..
disappoinment..

brought her back to the place we got together..
watched wif her a movie of the same genre...
and coincidentally, i parked my bike at the very same lot and same level i did on that very day a mth ago..
hehe~
fate's on my side i guess...

she's someone i'll cherish n treasure..
wouldnt wanna let her go..
cos wat i see in her is wat i had never seen b4...
and tats the truth from the bottom of my heart...
i swear....
=)

hohoho~

wat xmas it had been..
everything went as planned..
thank god for that..
especially the hard part of getting the tix..
=P

brought her to my house as per the previous entry..
left her in my rm to watch a horror movie, sumthing she dreads but loves to watch...
=P
got down to work in the kitchen...
did the pasta, and the frying of ingredients..
an poured the cream in to make the soup base for the pasta..
n tat was the easy part..
cos next came the baked ham...
haf really no idea how it's gonna turn out...
spread the honey, added sum spice stick(dunno wat it's called)..
and push into the oven for baking..
hm...
the color of it was a lil burnt..
but i guess it tasted alrite?
yes dear??
-grin-

wif a candle lit up, white tablecloth on a piece of wooden foldable table and tada~
our romantic dinner in my room...
=)
better than a restaurant, or so i say....
great dinner, wif great companion and of course great chef~
=P

went to catch sound of colours at lido..
it was packed in town..
wonder wat are they doing there...
dun they noe im coming..
hehe~
it was a nice show...
for the day itself..

we went back to my house for the unwrapping of presents..
cos i told her tat she COULDNT open it b4 xmas..
hehe~
she knew wat i was givin her, tat killed the surprise..
but guess she was touched nonetheless...
im so happy if mine..
hehe~
cos my wallet was torn in all places so she bought me a new one..
it smells nice i muz say...
her scent probably...
=P

this gotta be the best xmas ive ever had...
as long as she likes it, i'll do this anyday, anytime, all my life...
=)

merry xmas to all, and to all a gd day...

everything's prepared..
awaiting her arrival..
on my chariot of course..
hehe~
i hope wat i planned goes smoothly...
especially the food part..
shldnt be much of a prob i guess..
anyway it's the first time im cooking for a gal..
hehe~
*blush*
=P

gotta turn down tons of dates juz for a nite wif juz the 2 of us..
hope u guys understand..
=)

im all set and ready to go to fetch my beloved princess frm castle yishun..
lets hope this day would goes down into the record book as the best xmas of my 20 yrs of life..
keke~

cya guys..
and one last thing..
merry xmas..
enjoy it wif ur loved one..
=)

deep shit...

the level of shit im in now cun be measured in terms man..
it's even deeper than 30,000 leagues...
y is this shit happening to me..
look at the time..
i noe im dumb to stay up so late but it needed me..
but in the end, sigh...
all i hope is tat the morn would be a better time..
let me find "u"...
pls...
god, help me...
santa, all i wan for xmas is that..
ive been a good boy..
yes i was...
-grin-
=)

double-edged sword..

i noe how it feels to be on the end of a double edged sword...
hurting her is like hurting myself..
my heart aches while she's aching as well..
is this love or juz me being a fool..
i tink it's the former..
dun wanna see her in tat state..
but the blame's on me..
me and my mouth wif those dumb stuff...
in the end i myself feels the pain..
really feel damn bad...
apologies on my side..
-smile-

xmas is damn near..
i feel kinda guilty..
din manage to get presents for my closer frens like i did last yr..
but im broke...
forgive me..
i was workign last yr and was in the land of the cheap..
hehe~
=P
anyway juz now tat it's the tot of giving tat counts..
-grin-

she still doesn't noe wat im doing for her..
and tats gd..
dun wanna it to be revealed den the fun is gone...
i still haven got my xmas tree yet though..
juz cun find the perfect size..
guess i gotta wait till next yr den...

i hope the guy above gives me the strength n will to do wat i need to do..
hehe~
"he" noes wat im trying to say..
to the rest, u need not noe..
keke~

an advance merry xmas to all~
juz in case im not blogging in the comign days~
enjoy this wonderful day wif ur loved ones and tell them how u love them..
treasure them like how im cherishing n treasuring her...
-grin-
=)

at home...

yep at home, but not mine...
hehe~
no prizes for guessing it rite..
=P

anyway the reason y i aint in sch now is cos i was the delivery man for the morn..
sent breakfast to her house in the morn..
so i skipped the entire morn in sch n spent it at her place..

was eating at the dining table..
juz the 2 of us..
it made haf the sort of feeling that we were act in OUR house and all married n sorts..
such a blissful and happy feeling..
like how she's feeding me M&Ms now...
hehe~

it really makes me wonder at times y guys juz hate to get married..
for me, i cun wait till the day i wed..
cos i find tat im gonna be the best husband i can be to my wife..
n fulfill my duties of course...
hm..
would she be my wife?
tats far too early to tell..
-grin-

shld i go back to sch n rot?
or shld i juz stay at her place n rot..
i guess i cun choose the latter...
tat leaves me wif no choice..
sigh~

juz wanna leave this note for a gd fren of mine...
to those who dun understand, dun ask and try to understand...
hey, need anything call me, u noe hu u are....
msg me or call me when u read this..
got sumthing impt to tell ya..
and dun worry...
rem our pact?
i'll try to fulfill my end this time round..
=)

tats abt it..
shall type more when i haf more things to say..
especially abt *ahem*
:)

shock, glee, touched...

the above 3 feelings were felt in that particular manner...
cos of sumthing sumone did..
hehe~
=)

act it all started wif me daring her to come on down to sch frm her work place..
wif me doubting her to even tink of tat...
but how was i wrong...
rite after we put down the phone, she came on down to sch...
in the rain, by cab...

she juz gave me a call wif an ultimatum to reach mac or else....
and tat prompted me to run all the way down there..
arousing curious stares frm everyone walking along the aisle..
=P

but upon reaching there, i coldnt see her..
so i tot she was pulling my leg..
but in fact, she was hidden by a pillar..
the sight of her was a shock to me..
followed by a smile slowly revealing on my face..
and a warm fuzzy feeling felt by my heart...
really made my lousy, wet day brighten up...
juz by looking into that slit eyes of hers...
=)

i've always wondered how shaunie would feel when charis always surprises him...
n finally i'd knew it...
nuthing but happiness n of course love..
hehe~
=)

'tis the season to be jolly....

yep, xmas is arnd the corner...
anybody excited? jubilated? anticipated?
me personally, love this time of the yr..
cos this is the time when no matter wat, everyone would feel jolly folly for no gd reason..
or maybe juz me..
but i haf tons of reasons to be jolly folly and all cuddly~
haha~

maybe it's juz me but i love to hand out presents during xmas..
it juz gives me a sense of satisfaction i guess...
even tho i dun receive anything in return...
=)
i got a weird theory to y im so absorbed wif xmas...
cos my bdae happens to fall within the 12 days of xmas..
though it's the 2nd last day..
it still does..
hehe~
=P

but as age catches up wif me, i find that my xmas presents frm my family differs alot frm before..
for eg i use to receive gifts but i haf now are juz monetary token..
not tat im complaining tho but it sumhow doesnt feels rite..
but anyway it's juz the tot tat counts rite?
dun mind wat i receive as long as the tot's there..

i want to get a miniature xmas tree to put in my rm..
i missed the process of decorating one...
of putting presents below the tree..
of anticipating xmas eve to open the presents..
or do i juz missed childhood...
sigh..
it all seems so long ago..

sumthing's been bugging me..
i tink my *ahem* noes...
the big two-O...
i dun wanna grow old..
growing old sux...
i dun get to be as carefree and innocent as b4...
i dun get to be troublefree as b4..
and as they say, time passes way faster when ur age doesnt consist of the "teen" anymore...
but it's part n parcel of growing up..
i cun be like peter pan..
he doesnt exists in the first place...

xmas, anybody care to haf a party?
-grin-

snow snow fall on me...

having to be in sch everyday frm 830-1700 is gonna kill me man..
anyway tat would give me more chances to update this blog rite?
like now~
=)

saturday was a brilliant day for me~
though i gotta go back to sch till 1,
but sumone made it one hell of a better day..
hor?
=)
the sound of her voice make the whole day worth while for me to look forward to..
hehe~
no matter how dreadful it's gonna be..
-grin-

sunday was a fun day~
haha~
went to snow city..
though not the actual plan but it's still fun nonetheless...
wanted to ice skate at jurong but there was some event held there..
so changed plans to snow city...
im gonna sound like a mountain turtle but tat was the first time i saw snow~
really really fun..
though it's artificial snow, enjoyed it nonetheless..
cos of the person im wif..
hehe~
anyway it wasnt as fantastic as i expected..
quite a small place...
but it was cold..
for my standards..
-7 degrees...
my whole face went numb..
couldnt speak properly..
=X

anyway i gotta go back to slacking in class..
and another half an hr more to go off~
=)

long long time...

it's been a hell of a long time since i last blog..
i guess there're a few things which happened..
so here it goes in chronological order..
=)

the wk following my last post was a slacker's wk..
din do much cept working..
till the wkend tat is..
went on down to kukup in western coast of malaysia..
it's a kelong style place where we stayed in a house on stilits above water..
nice relaxing scene where both sun rise n sun set can be viewed~
oh not to mention the amt of mudskipper dwelling underneath~
haha~
and i put my hands on firecrackers/fireworks for the frist time..
all we can play in sillypore is juz sparklers..
but there, we got to shoot those fireworks in the sky..
nice display of light~
really lit up the darkness of the nite..
=)

after tat trip came my FYP..
sigh~
tho the topic is interesting, i dread the time i got to be in sch...
but guess i gotta get used to it if not i'll be blacklisted among those latecomers..
=P

i guess i took the right path n made the right choice..
really took quite some time to express it but eventually i did..
being together wif u brings me immense joy..
and nuthing else does cept u...
all i hope is tat we'll enjoy it n i'll definately cherish wat we haf now...
not me to take sumone for granted...
=P
i would give everything in return for sumthing so simple...
a four letter word...
give ya a clue..
start wif "L"...
=)

mind-boggling ramblings...

"i missed u yet i dun want to say it out...
im trying to avoid watever misunderstandings and misinterpretations...
the image of u is always on my mind...
especially when u dun call nor leave me a sweet, though forwarded msg..
when i was weak, tinking of giving up, ur very image came to mind..
n tat was the only source of energy tat i had to carry on...
this really showed me wat u meant to me..
im quite appalled by this shocking revelation, but i kinda accepted it wif open arms..
wats pulling me back, my heart asked?
my brain answered it wif answers of logical reference and rebutted every single pt..
but am i a brain motivated person or juz a foolish emotional vagabond...
i haf no idea for this case..
whoever i gonna be ain't surfacing now for me to be it...
time muz tell me wat to do..
for im lost in my own tots and imagination.."

u guys muz be wondering wat the heck was tat..
juz some ramblings in my mind..
adding some vivid imagination n of course scripted tales here n there n voila~
this rambling occur..
u guys decide whether it's fiction or not..
=)

officially started work today as....................
a trishaw rider~
haha~
but dun worry, im emplyed by STB..
so i guess it kinda a dignified trishaw rider..
was damn shag mid way thru it..
cos my motor couldnt start..
so in came the manual legs of mine..
almost couldnt finish the entrie journey..
dehydrated, fingers numb...
but i guess i gotta work hard for the money..
gd pay i muz say...
=P

enuff ramblings frm this maniac, nonsensical person...
oh, to leave a last note..
I WANT MY 2 MONTHS HOLS~~
=)

4 lame arse...

yep, the 4 lame arses met today for a movie n dinner..
watched the movie b4 though..
but juz went again juz to go wif the guys..
been a very long time since i last went out wif them..
so i guess a small sacrifice isn't much to pay..
=)

watched "ong bak"..
a very nice action packed movie wif a shallow storyline..
typical story but wif actions of awe..
everybody went "ooh" n "ah" in the movie..

went for a dinner after the movie..
head on down to pastamania where jappo met up wif weili..
had a couple of jokes there n a bk review was on the way wif me, fin and shaunie..
haha~
all u readers out there are surprised tat the 3 of us reads, dun u?
=P
dun blame ya..

anyway the highlight of the evening is yet to come..
tat will be the after dinner drink at marche..
din wanna break my promise of alcoholism, i din drink, while the rest ordered a jug of draught..
(wondered if they were asked to check their age, haha)
i went to get my food..
and when i was back, the first thing was tat shaunie drank 2 sips of the draught and cun carry on..
i went HUH~
cos the infamous shaunie is gd at drinking..
or so among us..
haha~
anyway it brought back bitter memories of not so distant past..
read his blog for more info..
anyway he couldnt carry on n he really looked as though he would juz puke watever pasta he had earlier~
tat was scary..
haha~
anyway he din and we head down to our respective homes 'cept jappo...
-grin-

i tink im destined to remain a bachelor...
act im not complaining though..
im having all the freedom i could haf..
spending all the cash i haf on myself...
and my "wife" of course...
but god played a prank when he made me..
he gave me too much love...
so much so tat i need to give it away..
n now im in a situation where there aint anyone to give it to..
hm....
maybe he wanna me store it all up n give the entire to the one im supposed to..
but here i am, begging him to pls send tat person to me..
cos i really really cun hold it within me for long..
gonna convulse soon..

anyway tink im gonna start on some personal projs..
if not im gonna slack the entire hols..
no one to go holiday wif..
=(
sigh..

long time gone...

been a very long time since i last added anything here..
missing?
hospitalised cos "sumone" did sumthing?
nopes~
neither..
juz din haf anything to write and been up to the brim wif studies..
anyway here goes nuthing..

exams wk...
everybody cramming up every last details into tat puny squishy pink thing they call brains...
me included..
but come to tink of it..
this is gonna be my last time ever gonna sit for a paper..
shld i cherish it n do my very best??
close frens of mine would noe my ans..
heck care~
haha~
can pass, tats all i ask..

u noe sumthing...
after tat saga had ended..
u noe, TAT thingy...
i've realised sumthing..
my frens are always there to back me up..
it shows tat i can count on them when i need them..
either tat, or they're juz seeking entertainment..
but both ways are sumthing gd to ponder abt..

im tinking of a holiday..
no where far..
juz sumwhere outside of stuffy sillypore..
im not sure if anyon out there feels the same way..
but i like to go to places during hols..
as in not get cope up in sillypore..
maybe it's juz me cos i can see pple like jappo slp n eat the entire hols away~
haha!!
anybody wanna go away wif me?
a short holiday stint in msia?
an offer of holidaying wif the man~
haha~

wats my blog entry like if there aint an entry abt my love life~
hahaha~
latest update for the busybodies..
stagnant..
yeah, tats the word to describe my love life...
no one in mind to go for...
guess i'll juz let it stay this way...
till THE ONE, not neo =P , comes arnd...

adios cucaracha~

penny for my tot...

hm..
anyway did u guys read my tag board..
theres this "mysterious" person by the name of littleboy dissing me off..
hm..
wonder who can it be..
but me being me, wun take anything lying down, shall launch a rebuttal..
=P

firstly, who are u in all this to judge who i am?
since u urself said tat im in no position to judge her, wat gave u the right to judge me?

secondly, u muz be sumone related to her or even her, herself to display such angst..
so y dun u juz reveal urself so tat we dun need to tok anonymously..
if u haf the guts tat is..
since u already threathened me to watch my back..

thirdly, i've never laid full responsibility on her for the failure of out r/s..
if u could actually read english, i was toking abt how she pushed my limit AFTER the r/s..
guess ur brain doesnt haf the capacity to act interpret it the rite way...
shant blame u here, sum pple like u juz dun haf the brains...

lastly, this is my blog..
i write watever i feel..
it's ur choice to read it..
not happy abt it?
juz dun read..
im not forcing ya...

oh yah, im not ashame to say my petrol is being paid by my parents...
they willingly did it..
other than them, i dun rem asking anybody else cept' myself paying for it...
so get ur bloody facts rite b4 launching any attacks..

to end all these, the person who shld grow up shld really be u...
go process...
u need the time to do it...

hatred....

hate is a four letter i wun use easily...
rather use words like "dislike", "no gd affliation for" or even "dun like"...
but now i really gotta use this word...
i HATE her...

y cun she grow up for once??
n im supposed to be the childish one..
cun she juz let go??
STILL minding over small matters and finidng faults..
really make me find her damn irritable...

she hated me first..
i dun wanna hate her..
so i tried my best to be a neutral person..
but she gotta push the limit n make me hate her...
dun understand her mindset..
it's like she's testing my limit..
but today was a fine example of almost to there...
one more time she pisses me off, im gonna go over n give her a tight slap..
tat was for today..
tmr would start afresh wif limit at zero..
lets see how far can she push me...
im no mr nice guy den..
tats all i cna say abt tat..

find tat the song She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd really depicts this situation..
but in this case, i hate her too..
damnit..
y muz it be this way..
i tried my best to turn it for the better but she gotta be the bitch in this whole thing n make it this way..
sigh~
watever it is, i tried my best..
my conscience is clear...

on a lighter note...
went to Sepang during the wkends..
to catch the MotoGP..
for the ignorant it's the motorcycle grand prix..
=)
it was damn thrilling..
listning to the engine roar and screech..
but too bad, no crashes...
haha~
took tons of pics..
would try to post it up when im free..
=P

tats it for now..
juz wanna hope she dun play wif my fire..
cos she would get burnt real bad...

washing machine..

a fren of mine changed her nick to "washing machine"..
it made me tink...
life's like a washing machine..
n im feeling like a washing machine myself..
lemme explain the above metaphors...

life, is juz like a washing machine..
u haf everything thrown into it..
u haf plain colored clothes and patterned ones..
u haf pants, shorts and even skirts..
u haf briefs, bra and even panties..
now can u see my pt?
=P
juz wanna state that life's like tat..
u haf all sorts of variations of things..
may it be happy or sad, dead or alive..
all these are part of life..
which kinda suck i admit..
but acceptance i muz..
=)

now lets go on to wat im feeling...
u noe how a washing machine roll and tumble..
mixing the clothes in it arnd..
im feeling like tat now..
but replace the clothes to be emotions n feelings...
i dunno wat im feeling nor missing now..
i tink i noe wat im feeling, but i doubt it in the next moment..
i feel tat im missing sumone, but am i missing her or juz the feeling of being wif her??
feel tat im living a dillema..
neither here nor there...
and so the machine roll n tumble...
and my innards follow...

y am i such a complicated person?
or izzit tat im tinking too much...
hm....

the light had shone...

alrite, i guess the light had shone on me..
at least tats wat i tink..
maybe it was a choice of despair or maybe tats the rite path..
but whichever it is..
it had happened..
let's juz hope it's the right one..
but it's definately not the same decision i made the previous time round..
it made me tink as though im experimenting for future references..
but i dun like tat thought...
damn...

anyway below is a poem by Wislawa Szymborska called Love at First Sight...
it's an easily understood yet meaningful n deep...
it's hard for me to describe wat i feel abt it..
but it's everything gd..

the line "Fate has been playing with them. Not quite yet ready to change into destiny, "
bring abt wat i wrote in my previous post...
fate is playing wif me..
maybe it's juz tat the time aint rite for it to change into destiny..
my destiny..
would there be a day where it actually does, i dunno..
but at least i noe it would..
not for me, at least for others...
cos i see it but i dun realise it...

anyway here goes the poem for appreciation...
=)


Love at First Sight
by Wislawa Szymborska

They both thought
that a sudden feeling had united them
This certainty is beautiful,
Even more beautiful than uncertainty.

They thought they didn't know each other,
nothing had ever happened between them,
These streets, these stairs, this corridors,
Where they could have met so long ago?

I would like to ask them,
if they can remember -
perhaps in a revolving door
face to face one day?
A "sorry" in the crowd?
"Wrong number" on the 'phone?
- but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.

How surprised they would be
For such a long time already
Fate has been playing with them.

Not quite yet ready
to change into destiny,
which brings them nearer and yet further,
cutting their path
and stifling a laugh,
escaping ever further;
There were sings, indications,
undecipherable, what does in matter.
Three years ago, perhaps
or even last Tuesday,
this leaf flying
from one shoulder to another?
Something lost and gathered.
Who knows, perhaps a ball already
in the bushes, in childhood?

There were handles, door bells,
where, on the trace of a hand,
another hand was placed;
suitcases next to one another in the
left luggage.
And maybe one night the same dream
forgotten on walking;

But every beginning
is only a continuation
and the book of fate is
always open in the middle.

Translation from Polish by Roman Gren

sense of humor...

life haf a weird sense of humor..
its lackey, fate, would be the one doing the practical jokes on us...
i really find tat my life is playing a cruel practical joke on me...
and fate is the key "person" in this joke...

sumthing left, sumthing came...
the thing which came is like the thing tat left...
it made me go "DEJA VU~"

i feel so familiar in this situation..
the same unknowingness...
the same emotions start to flood in...
the same thing im gonna do would happen..
but wait..
did i do the rite thing b4??
and shld i implement it again this time round??
dillema sets in...

im an emotionally driven person..
everybody noes tat..
im a dumb person cos i use my heart more than my brain to tink...
i dunno y but i use my instincts...
shld i follow my instinct or my brain??
dillema sets in again...

the determined n headstrong part of me isnt doing me any gd...
but it aint doing any harm as well...
i wanna hold on yet i wanna let go...
im self contradicting...
but tats juz jeryd...

let the light shine on me...
pls.....
=)

poetry in motion..

this post would be a post of poems i had composed but never act published..
=)

anyway guys, thnx for the concern..
im fine..
dun worry..



Hurt, in words
Hurting her wasn't intentional.
Hurting me was the consequence.
Like a double blow,
I'm hurt like she is so.
If time is reversed,
this wouldn't happen.
For hurting an angel like her,
is as good as executing God Himself,
a cardinal sin.


Meaning of love
Love is too small a word for too big an emotion.
Like how the petite her, is my entire world.
Life would never be complete without her presence.
As to love isn't love without her.
So how do a small her occupy a big world?
That's just the magic of love, true love.


The way of right
Lost in this maze,
an unknowing place.
Wondering where to head next.
On one end, the divine loneliness,
and the other, a route of uncertainty.
Which would i choose,
i've yet to decide.
Maybe fate this time,
would be on my side.
If a guiding light would just fall on me,
so that i can see,
the right path i need to go,
so that i'll get over being low.

All out of Love

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
I know you hurt too but what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

I wish i could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know


(chorus)
I'm all out of love, i'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am i without you
I can't be too late to say i was so wrong


I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long, lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh, so right?


And what would you say if i called on you now
And said that i can't hold on?
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or i'll be gone, i'll be gone


(chorus)
Ooh, what are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
(repeat chorus)

karma...

i haf this lecturer, raymond, who recently told me tat accidents usually occur in the 12th mth of driving/riding...
and his cursed words actually came true..
i got into an accident yest in my 11 and a half mths of riding..
this bloody car banged my rear..
i flew but luckily wif minimal injuries...

this maybe caused by karma..
cos i gotta admit on this..
im not a perfect rider on the road..
i swerve, yes...
i speed, yes...
mayb this is a warning to me not to the above mentioned..
=P

but tinking of the repairs i need to do and the $$$ i need to fork out gives me a headache...
sigh~~

wanna hear some happier news??
hehe~
our one mth anniversary is coming..
and i've got sumthing for celebrating impt occasions..
or shld i say meaningful days, like "Pamper TY day"..
-wink-
=)

anyway events had been planned..
and hope evrything goes smoothly for tat day..
hehe~

time juz passed fast when ya wif ur loved one and enjoying urself..
it sure did for me..
guess it's the same for everyone out there..
so treasure the time u haf wif them..
never let them go..
=)

days of my life...

hey there all my fan-si~~
sorry for the absent in this blog...
but really too bz to update it..
hehe~
and u guys shld noe wat im bz wif..
-grin real widely-

anyway life's been gd...
a major 180 turn frm a few mths back..
hehe~
lets hope it stays this way..

anyway went go karting in jb last wkend...
it was really fun and adrenaline rushed into my head while driving...
reminds me of schumacher on the track..
=P
anyway not going back to that track again as the owner of the place is damn NIAO~
like shaunie..
haha~
we juz knocked into each other and were asked to compensate for it..
totally not viable compensation.
juz warn u guys not to go there...

im on cloud 9, but never would i forget my frens~
so guys if theres anything u guys need frm me, pls approach me..
cos im not gonna shun u guys cos im attached~
=)

i cun climb for nuts anymore..
feel as if i lost all my strength n skills..
but i dun haf them in the first place..
=D

i recently found out tat im an easy jealous person..
need to try to curb this bad factor..
anybody got any ideas??
can help?
hehe~
juz feel free to email me thru the link on the bottom left hand side of the screen..
-grin-

okie..
gtg now..
lecturer coming over..
ciaoz for now~
=)

declaration...

this is a declaration of love to the only love i haf...

I LOVE YOU, ty...

there's no one else who can occupy my heart like u do..
this comes from the bottom of my heart and no where else..
trust me on this..
=)

i wanna be with u for the rest of my life..
will u want me tat way?
=P

bliss...

i've finally realised how to spell bliss...
n i do not mean literally...
bliss had showered on me recently..
and im cherishing n treasuring every single moment of this...

got hitched..
gd news?
bad news?
up to u to decide..
to me it's the best thing tat could happen after getting my wife..
=)

anyway yets was national day..
in other words the nation's birthday..
brought her to Tanjong Rhu wif the rest of my biking buds to haf a picnic there while waiting for the fireworks show..
find tat this yr's ceremony lasted very short..
and the fireworks display aint fascinating anymore..
maybe im not longer tat young kid awing in amazement anymore..
but hugging her while watching it makes up for everything..
=P

i've always complained to fin and shaunie tat they were too mushy and asking them to stop it..
but now i noe y they do it..
cos im doing the exact same thing~
haha~
=P
it's sum sort of attraction tat u cun stop..

so to all my admirers, fans and lovers out there...
im sorry...
this amazing metrosexual SNAG aint available anymore..
=)
cya all~

cough, cough, sniffles, sniffles...

im sick~
yes u read it rite, the ever strong jerk is sick~
=P
been having an irritating throat, blocked nose wif a "river" flowing down...
dry coughs wif sneezes in btw...
sigh..
it sux being sick..

the annual adventure camp is tmr..
thru the wkend..
wif my current condition..
be glad tat i dun contract malaria in the mosquito infested environment in UBin..
=P

nuting happened during the wk..
been mistaken by my new classmates dat im actually together wif this "gal" in my class..
u guys shld noe who..
i went -_-"
haha~
but tat's the case when u're me~
hahaha~

nuting much more to say..
gonna go now..
would post more pics up when i haf the time..
=P
ciao~

sorry...

the owner of this blog apologises for the long term of absenteeism..
=)

anyway nuting much happened to me..
tats y the lack of posts..
hehe~
=P

anyway wat im gonna relate in the post is not in chronological order...
cun really rem wat came first~
haha~
here it goes...

the desaru trip first i guess...
it was wat i would call a laughing trip..
we were laughing thruout even though while riding..
haha~
made jokes abt each other, doing stunts..
and the beach there was relieving..
really brought away all my stress and troubles..
i was there juz to enjoy myself and let loose~
the waves were huge enuff to engulf me~
but it was really really fun, especially burying one of the guys there wif sand..
sculpting breasts, a big tummy, a dick and a pussy together..
haha~
imagine wat a weird creature it had been~
=P

now comes the void for the wk..
nuting happened during the wk at all...
so im fast forwarding to friday..
=P

i made it a pt to inform almost all the guys to come climbing on fri
and stay for dinner cos our mentor, juz call him da boss,
is leaving for NS on tuesday..
but kinda disappointed some of them din turn up..
the turnout otherwise wasnt tat bad~
16 of us..
ranging frm yr1, all the way to old birds~
had a resounding farewell dinner for him...
kinda sad to see one by one all our snrs/mentors leaving..
first was santoso den came da boss...
next up would be the gay..
but who would miss him??
haha~
kidding...

the recce trip in ubin on sat wasnt as wat i expected..
cos im still not sure wat's going on..
wat are the events going on or who's gonna be in charge??
nvm, leaving it all to the yr 2...
dun understand y suggestions cun be made when loopholes are there in the original ones..

went to sing wif my biker frens at nite..
had tons of fun there as well..
teasings galore..
all of us left there w/o a voice..
haha~
sang for close to 5 hrs~
imagine tat~
=P

tats abt it..
told ya nuting much rite??
and tat, im not in the hosp wif SARS~
=P
ciaoz~

missing??

yah i noe..
been missing for ages..
not tat i dun want to blog..
it's tat i cun~
my windows crashed on me..
:~~
cun even load..
sad rite~
finally it's up n running but it;s kinda slow..
wonder y??

anyway the wk had been a busy one for me..
visited pammy and toked to her for a while..
glad to see her all well..
hope her foot recover fast~
tat was one bad accident..
get well babe~

had dinner wif the churchies(was jap calls them)..
occasion?
jess' farewell dinner part deux~
a quiet affair this time round..
most of them are either aint free or in NS..
ate some overpriced normal food at newton food centre..
but had a few gd laffs though~
=)

was at zouk last nite for its mambo nite~
free entry and drinks are at 1-for-1..
so y not??
=P
went wif the bikers but ended up wif 2 diff grps of frens..
saw cecilia, irene, eugene n alvin there..
(fyi, they're my pals frm the time i worked at cine)
met up wif rolaine there as well..
was on a dance rampage..
finished dancing wif my biker frens and this HOT chick,
i carried on dancing wif the cine gang..
till late in the nite..
was damn crowded as well...
full of wat we call "the poly crowd"..
but it was the feast for the eyes~
hehe~
left b4 the place closes..
classes start at 8 today..
but as usual, i couldnt get up..
missed the first lab this morn...
it was the "on-off" lab..
guess i wouldnt miss much~
=)

call me sceptical, call me weird..
but rem i once said i judge a future gf by the feelings which tingles in me?
yah..
felt it recently..
but im not sure..
im always not sure..
tats wat suck~
and im sceptical nowadays..
darent take tat major step into the wooing stage..
afraid of history repeating itself..
i dunno wat to do..
juz gotta take it a step at a time..
=
tats it for now..
will see me here again on mon perhaps..
after my desaru trip~
ciaoz~
=)

dillema...

been ages since i last blogged...
so sorry my loyal fans~
=P

anyway nuting much been happening for the past wk..
caught 2 new movies~
hehe~
T3 n 2 Fast 2 Furious..
here's a short review of both movies wif NO spoilers..
=P
T3: it's a movie basically packed wif action, action n more action..
a storyline which had been repeated since the first ever Terminator movie..
director, sumthing new pls~~ =P
but kristana locken rulz~
hehe~
overall 2 and a half jerkds out of 5..
2F2F: okok.. if ya like cars, cars, cars and babes.. this is the movie to watch..
other than tat, the storyline is as gd as T3~
not much of it~~
i like suki~
the gal who's driving the pink S2000..
drools~~~
but it's the usual gd guys nab bad guys and sex sex sex~
=P
give it 3 and a half jerkds for suki n the cars~!
=)

nuting much happened other than tat dillema im in..
shant tok abt it..
too personal..
but one day when it's finally solved, and when im feeling comfortable enuff,
u guys would noe it..
=)
ciao for now~

judgement call...

wat's ur take on homosexuality??
on lesbians and butches...
on gays and faggots...
wat so u tink of them??

ok for me, i despise them to the core..
i really dun approve nor condone it..
call me conservative, close-minded, old fashioned...
i dun care...
but tats wat i tink..
seriously tink tat those hu turn into the "dark" side are really going against god's rules in playing this game of life..
dun u tink so?
anyway enuff of the rambling of this crap..

can i ask another question?
ever tot tat u got over sumone but realised after tat u hadnt..
okok..
here it goes..

passed S a present cos her bdae juz passed..
as a fren i guess a present for her bdae aint anything...
later on we continued to msg each other..
den later we on to the topic of bf..
asked her if she had any..
and she said no...
so i said y not?
and she continued to say dat she fall for gers instead..
den came in my hatred for homos..
i was so damn hurt..
(and i dunno y i felt tat way..)
i pressed on to ask her y she turned tat way...
she answered tons of stuff..
anyway the prob lies here...
y would i feel so hurt, as if it's the end of the world, if i had gotten over her??
i told her i was disappointed n hurt..
and in the end she told me it was all juz a joke..
she wasnt..
but it's too late..
i actually pour tons of stuff unto her..
i told her she hurt me loads..
and i start to ponder..
do i still like her?
i haf no idea..
haf i gotten over her?
i dunno..

but one thing's for sure...
i care for her alot..
im confused...

sch sux~

ever been strange in a familiar environment??
ironic sentence but it's wat happened...
first day at sch..
it wasnt my very first, first day at NYP..
ya noe wat i mean..
but it's really weird..

i entered the classroom, which i had entered umpteenth time..
everything looks and feels strange...
furniture and fixtures were in the same position..
faces were diff though..
totally new faces..
cun recognise them..
even the lecturer..
never seen him before..
asked him whether i was in the rite class n yes i was..
settled down n muttered, "this gonna be a loooooooong semester"..
and i believed it would be..
after surveying the entire class, 3/4 of them, i dun even noe~
the other quarter are a bunch of hi-bye frens~
if not pple i dun really like..
sigh~
see my plight??
none of my classmates nor pple i can get along wif were wif me..
neither were my kilq(my version of clique) who were in an entire diff stream as me..
=gonna forge new relationships wif new pple..
this is one time i missed the degenerates of a bunch of classmates of mine..
this is the one time i really missed those noisy bunch of kliq i haf...
this is gonna be an entire lonely and miserably long semester...
=(

thnx for all u guys' concern over the accident..
im alrite n im fine..
no major injuries and all..
still walking on this green earth~
not buried six feet under...
=P
thnx loads~
appreciate ur concerns~
=)

missed me??

it's 3 am on a saturday morn..
but to me, i'll call it a late late friday nite..
=)

anyway was spurned to write sumthing after wat shaunie said..
so here it goes, a chronicle of wat happened in the past few days..
be prepared to get shocked by stuff im gonna say..
:P

weds went alrite i guess..
but was really really demoralised..
find tat i cun boulder anymore..
feel like quitting climbing altogether..
arms totally no strength to sustain myself on the wall..
lack of training or simply too weak..
tink it's the latter..
sigh~
and to tink tat im gonna get enlisted in a yr's time..
how to serve my nation like this~~
haha~
went to gnc after our climb...
i haf a damn urge to get Nitro-Tech..
a protein supplement to enhance lean mass n strength..
2 things i really need now..
hm..
shld i??
im scrawny....
i noe..
=(

thurs was a day of mixed emotions for me..
woke up real late cos apparently all my frens aint free for me~
ate my brunch and got going on my bike..
did some minor adjustments and gave "her" a thorough wash and polish..
but the sky gotta break open in the middle of it all..
continued at the nearby block's void deck..
i've never seen "her" as shiny as i did tat day..
a sense of satisfaction set in..
=)
went out for a movie wif my biker frens..
caught Charlie Angels..
a piece of advise is tat buy the vcd or d/l it..
it aint worth watching..
unless ya into soft porn..
all i see is the 3 lead ladies almost naked bodies..
and of course their bodacious arse~
went on my home after the movie..
on the expressway, there i saw another biker fren of mine..
asked him to go for supper n he agreed..
things changed frm here onwards..
a wonderful day going down hill...
after the supper at Chomp Chomp..
we went our separate ways..
as it was after a heavy downpour..
the road was extremely wet..
at a right turn before Bowen Sec..
i skidded and lost control of my bike..
my left fork lamp was smashed..
crash bar was dented and not to forget tat my side mirror was gone as well..
as for me, i rolled on the ground and found myself few feet away frm the bike..
was obviously in a state of shock..
din realise i was on the road until after a min of realisation..
took off my helmet and guess wat...
left it in the middle of the road.. -_-"
but it was a freaking shock to me..
i wasnt prepared..
injuries are minor..
but i tink my knee is concussed..
it aches and it actually cun be bend at times..
managed to crawl home on the bike..
she's a tough bitch~

friday, today was an average day..
got my wife repaired..
amt coming up to 20 bucks..
not bad~
but the engine and the other parts is not damaged in any other way..
so i guess it's ok..
went to play pool in the nite wif my frens..
i suck at this as well..
but i choose to blame the cue..
it's damn freaking lousy..
imagine when u hit the cue ball and u hear a "tang" sound..
hollow~~
=anyway went on down to changi village for supper..
tats went i had a deja vu..
an almost repetition of yesterday's accident..
but luckily i managed to control the bike this time round..
my heart and every innards i haf was practically in my mouth..
was too shock to even go past 80km/h after tat..
at changi, saw a few REALLY pretty trans~
they look like a genuine female..
but prettier..
technology had indeed advance..
it can make a guy to be a lady, a prettier one at tat as well~
=P

tats abt it for the recap..
kinda long n naggy but i need to pour everything out..
juz to keep track of my personal ride..
=)

=)

my day was short~
mainly cos i woke up real late~
hehe~
not tat late but late enough..
and i would haf slept later if not for gdl who called me..
to confirm our date later~
=P

anyway went for a karaoke session wif the gals in the noon..
gdl, pea and princess went..
i still cun accept the fact tat i was tricked by the princey..
we chatted on fri on icq and i tried to ask her when she's gonna come back to sg..
but silly n naive old me din noe she was already in sg and chatting wif me underneath the same sky..
anyway it was a pleasant surprise on sunday when i received her phone call to tell me she's back..
lets get back to the karaoke..
i booked the room at cuppage plaza..
and we sang n sang~
for 3 whole hrs straight..
very fun~
wif sniggering and laffters thruout the session..
but not enuff for me though..
i want more~~

gotta accompanied pea for abt 2 hrs cos she's meeting her frens later..
din wanna go home so early, tats y i agreed..
anyway we were crapping the whole time thru~
haha~
but we managed to do some incisive window shoppings~
=)
the incentive of it all is........
i get to meet her pretty korean babe of a fren~
hehe~
okok..
she's not TAT pretty but pretty nonetheless..
and u would noe they're gd frens when u hear them speak..
they speak in the exact same bimbotic tone~
hahaha~
anway this goes to pea, dun push me like im some merchandise tat cun be sold~
although i noe i cun be sold but not a merchandise~
haha~
but she seems interested..
or is she??
haha~

sch's starting soon and i haf YET to receive my time table..
wat efficient, ISO9000 approved, sch i haf..
=P
they suck~
anyway not tat anxious to get back to sch..
not tat fun anyway...
but way more fun than work..
work sux~
period.

anyway ciao~
note tat ive been updating everyday..
im trying to keep this up~
juz for the millions, *inhale the anticipating breath*, and millions of my fans~
haha~

........

was feeling rotten yest..
hence tat rotten post..
can juz ignore it..

working today was bored as bored can be~
forgot to bring my book..
den gotta stone thruout the day~
sigh~
'cept for the monkeyS~~

anyway went out wif dong n hif gf at nite..
had dinner at pastamania cos i was really craving for their cabonara~
it rulez~
wif tons n tons of cheese of course~
im cheesy u noe?
=)

was feeling damn awkward thruout the nite..
wif the 2 of them..
juz gotta be the light bulb i guess~
=P

played pool at paradigm and they were having a mini competition wif 2 grps of pple..
quite heated i guess..
but one sided...
they won by a landslide~
it was so formal tat there were even a judge there..
and i tot it was juz a friendly competition..
maybe over territory?
haha~

penned down a poem while stoning away at work today..
not too good i muz say..
but juz some feelings and a dash of sudden inspiration~
=)


love sweet love~

Love, oh sweet love...
The feeling i've been longing for,
slips further & further away.
Just can't get a grip on its core.

Gazing out of the store,
couples galore.
Hugging & kissing,
with all the loving they could have.

How i wish i'm one of them,
without giving a damn!
Expressing love, oh sweet love,
to one another,
in their own sugar-filled world.

sigh....

can't everything be solved by putting $$$ aside??
y muz everything be interwined wif $$$....
im tinking, y muz my youth be spent worrying abt $$$..
i shld be out there enjoying my youth and do watever i can now rather than later...
but apparently there are pple in my life whom doesnt share this logic..

im a happy go lucky person..
i wanna be the bird in the sky and do watever i can now..
cos i noe when i reach the age of 20..
there is nuting i can do to stop the hands of time frm moving all the way to retirement age..
and there would be a long list of things i shld haf done n didnt..
dun mention abt later, but now~
even now i haf a long list of things tat shld had been done but haf not been achieved in my early teens..

life juz stinks...
i hate working yet i need to work to keep my dream...
juz hope tat i can cope wif my third yr work wif working..
tis would be my main worry for the coming yr...

i want a simple life..
wif no worries and headaches..
y muz i haf all of these instead~
wat i dun wan..

quoting remy zero, somebody save me...
quoting creed, can u take me higher...(so tat i can be free)
quoting jeryd, life juz suck~

to all those out there who's maligning me of being a gay..
seriously, i dun give a shit~
say watever u guys wish..
im kinda sick of it..
sick of everything..
when one day i give up on hope..
u dun haf to call me anymore..
juz forget my number...
or simply erase it frm ur hp..

due to popular demand..

been asked by many frens to update my blog more often...
so here it goes~
=)

finally after 2 days of postponement my competition got under way...
had the preliminaries in the morn..
did pretty well on a really tuff route..
it's said to be on par wif routes for the experts..
overall got into a 10th place out of 26th..
quite respectable i muz say~
haha~
got into the semis which is in the noon...
the route is easier BUT it's in a leading format..
which is i gotta clip in the rope as i ascend up the wall...
was reaching out wif my rite hand for the next tile when i din even noe y i slipped n fell..
wat freaking elements made me slipped is still unexplanable to me..
i was questioning myself y it happened and was clutching my hair in frustration..
the guys there can tell u how dumb i looked den..
=P
but in the end still cun get into the finals..
guess gotta try harder next time..
but would they be a next time?
=)

after the comp, went to meet up wif gdl, fin n pea..
went shopping arnd n ate at a hainanese chicken rice stall..
their roasted chicken was gd~
one of the best i've ever tried..
it's on the top floor of far east plaza and it's beside jansen's hair salon..
=P
gdl bought this unique n unusual bracelet..
blue stones binded together wif leather strap...
she went home n was told by her bro tat it can be bought at a pasar malam for $5~
haha~
poor thing~
but i seriously find it nice..
=)

need to do some shopping myself..
and finding new clothes targets..
the 2 shirts i aimed had been deleted frm my check list..
one is unavailable, the other bought by shaunie..
sigh~
poor me~
any sympathisers out there for me??
hehe~

im starting to believe there's actually someone up there in the clear blue sky..
did my customary prayers b4 i climbed today..
did an extra one in isolation for clear weather...
and it actually came true..
it was dark up there b4 the prayer n my nap..
when i woke up it was cleared..
climbing was resumed..
hm...
coincidence or miracle?
u decide..
while i figure it out myself as well..
=)

lack of jeez..

this is a post of feelings and not abt wat happened to me..
juz a fore warning..
=)

find tat i haf a lack of target, or lack of sumthing to look forward to..
im like living everyday wif the mentality tat i juz haf to pull thru yet another day...
not tinking of anything..
carefree...
dunno wats wrong wif me..
care to share??

wat do i need to do to get a target...
ambitions wise, i haf no freaking idea..
wat im studying now is not wat im gonna work as..
tats for sure..
i suck in it~
tats the prob..
wat am i suppose to do?
future, set aside..
wat abt the present..
other than the burden of maintening a bike n paying for it,
i haf nuting else to tink abt..
im starting to feel shallow...

solution, get a gf to kill time, to occupy the void??
is that possible??
i haf no freaking idea..
one after another my heart shatters tat i darent go near this topic anymore..
maybe i shouldnt be the gd guy....
gd guy dies first wif nuting fulfilling ever happens for him..
while the bad guy gets the gers, lives longer and is usually richer..
so y call the bad guy bad when he's so much better off..
i haf no inkling of whoever set these terms...

im full of angst now..
not to mention sadness as well..
all these are targeted at me of course..
i dunno wats wrong wif me...
things arent wat it seems..
im going no where wif this post..
juz take it wif a pinch of salt..
treat it as crap..
i juz need to verbal vomit it all out~

me, me, me...

oh yah did i ever told u guys the trip was fun..
it was fun~
hehe~
damn~
while u guys are suffering in the scorching heat in singapore,
i was enjoyin the chill @ 21 degrees on the hill~
=)
okok enuff of bragging~
but it really was cool n fun~
the way down was bendy~~
hehe~
we went down leaning our bikes so low dat the foot pegs were brushing on the road..
like some MotoGP race...
can check out the pics here~

got my hair cut and dyed~
hehe~
=P
the color is sumwat subtle..
copperish, ashish..
sumthing like tat~
see it when u see me~
hehe~

ok guys, whining session coming up~
=P

ever want to tink of sumone b4 u sleep at nite?
i do..
and everynite i would tink of a blank space b4 i slp..
this void must be filled..
but when? who?
apparently i dunno..
hope i do but i dun..
y dun i get a chance to be on the bachelor~
haha~
den i'll haf like 25 gers to choose frm~
make out wif them, throw them aside~
haha~
kidding..
but i dun mind being on some program like those..
matchmaking shows, the bachelor, watever~
wat an experience it'll be..
hehe~
but then again, it may juz be scripted and not real at all~
sumtimes reality juz suck~
=P

GSS, great spending spree..

been shopping for the past 2 days...
my 2 off days~
hehe~
=P

went out wif pea and gdl yest..
after thoroughly servicing my bike for the trip..
and after buying the armored jacket i need..
which cost 400 by the way..
=)
met them at far east where pea was buying a maternity dress~
haha~
juz kidding..
it's juz tat the dress fluff up in a wat tat it looks like one..
even gdl agreed upon it..
the gers carried on shopping wif me lurking behind, giving some precious $0.02 worth of tots..
=P
went to zara which is where i did MY shopping..
hehe~
got myself this suggestive looking tee which actually look good~
haha~
of course it gotta look good den i'll buy rite?
=P
anyway shall take a pic of it sumtime soon..
saw another shirt which cos 32 bucks...
wondering whether i shld get tat or the one at tangs studio..
pondering pondering pondering..

today was a boring day~
the meeting in the morn was alrite..
things got settled, at least..

met sumone who tingled my feelings inside..
i've always haf one single critical requrement in finding a gal,
she muz make me haf the tingling sensation inside..
and sy did it..
the moment i set my eyes on her today, i couldnt take it off her..
i dunno but she exudes this charm which i cun comprehend..
im turning into an idiot here but hu cares~
=P
anyway lets hope this one works..
=)

after the dreaded rain stopped in the evening, i went on downtown to search for mr veins..
he was at the library..
juz nice, need to return and borrow new bks~
=P
anyway we shopped as well..
went into the harley davidson shop at taka..
got my dad a tee for fathers day..
he wouldnt accept the chaco chong sandals i brought back for him saying it's too ex..
so juz got him sumthing cheaper i guess...
hope he liked it..
it's been awhile since i toked to mr veins and lots of things happened and changed..
he's progressing well and i hope he can get to the decision he needs soon..
u shld not wat i mean mr veins~
=)

tmr's the trip..
cun wait for it..
dunno wat to expect..
juz hope everything would turn up fine~
and guys, juz pray tat u wun pay me a visit when im in a coffin eh??
=)
cya guys in 3 days..
asta la vista baby~
i'll be back~

it's been a hard day's work...

guess wat~
i've juz finished a 11 days non-stop working schedule..
and guess wat again..
im not gonna work till sunday~
WOOHOO~~
going up to Fraser's hill (sumwhere further than KL) on friday..
for 3 whole days~
cun wait for that well deserved break..

gonna service my bike tmr..
b4 the trip of cos~
if not sumthing goes wrong and im dead~
=P
gonna get a pair of gd gloves if they're suitable..
and not to forget a jacket for the trip..
let's hope i haf enuff $$..
=)

that sweet lil bitch did it again..
she came by ori yest and passed me some home baked pineapple tarts..
they were gd i muz say..
cept tat it could be less flaky..
=P
thnx bitch~
i owe ya one..
oh btw, i din eat anything till i got home after ur tarts..
hehe~
:P

last saturday was a hectic day for me..
it was my grandma and my lil cousin's bdae..
i had another official launch meeting for my cruiser grp on tat very same day..
oh not to forget i gotta work~
how am i suppose to juggle it all and fit it into 24 hrs??
here it goes..
i asked the "magnanimous" calvin to let me off early tat day at 5..
den i went on down to upper pierce reservoir for the first part of the launch..
left them when they were heading for dinner and went home to celebrate their bdaes..
hung arnd, chat wif my uncles and their kids...
rushed on down to pitstop, a biker pub at beach road to meet them for the 2nd part of the launch..
luckily they were still there...
anyway we went on to gelang patah, which is in jb for supper..
and i muz say their food is the best~
it's cheap and better than food in sg~
drools~~
we rode on up to kota tinggi..
which is abt an hr and a half ride away..
it was fun..
going thru roads where u cun see...
serious..
when u look back, all u see it pitch black darkness~
and of cos i was secretly hoping not to see any white figure floating arnd..
=P
i was the last man hence the impt responsibility of rounding the riders up~
tats y i can only see darkness..
=)

when i read shaunie's new blog...
im so envious of him..
he gets to shop..
-sniff-
i wanna buy clothes~~
lemme outta my cage~~
=P

oh oh oh oh~~
u guys wun expect this but guess wat...
i finally pierced a second hole in my left ear~~
hehe~
here's a shot of it..
=)


how abt it??
hehe~

im back, n better than ever...

im back...
everything's settled in life..
the bad patch is over..
now is the financial part..
sigh~
too many things to buy, too little money~
haha~
=)

anyway my darling bitch came and find me today..
she was such a dear~
bought me a pack of famous amos cookies..
was so touched..
almost cried~
=P
anyway it's so sweet of u, bitch~
=)
thnx~
appreciate it..

spent abt 2 hrs chatting wif her in the shop..
time passed real fast den..
i guess time always flies when u're wif gd company...

work sux..
my khakis all not working these few days..
MC, retrenched..
no one to tok to..
but it;s still way better than campers..
hehe~

nuting much happened in the past week for me to post...
hence the break..
but went for my class' chalet last wk..
had a fun time..
one of the few times the class were together and doing things as a whole..
glad tat im in this class..
can see bonds being build btw some of us..
=)
my damsel was there as well..
and as usual this knight in shining armor was there to save her~
hehe~
u guys shld not hu im toking abt...

results were out yest...
not bad i find..
at least an A...
but it was expected..
cos anything less than tat i might be disappointed..
=P
juz glad tat i passed everything..
including that dreaded c++...

i find tat i haf no target in life..
i haf no idea wat im gonna do when im out of the army..
im like taking a step at a time n not planning..
it aint gd..
but im trying..
trying to draw a blueprint out for my life..

i've always wanted to get married by the age of 27..
it seems an eternity for me to get married and it seems like tomorrow tat im gonna turn 27..
get the idea?
im not even attached now..
no gers in mind as well..
how am i suppose to reach tat target??
near impossible...
sigh~

anyway met up wif redsky at cine after work juz now..
she was working as stage manager at the stage at cine for the street fest..
the band which played juz now was not bad..
the singer was trying real hard to sound like axl rose and jon bon jovi combined..
he achieved it somehow..
like the gay version of those 2 though..
the band sung covers of songs by deep purple, guns n roses and BON JOVI~~
=)
guitarist was superb~
ask redsky, she'll noe~
=P

frens, gers, do i look like im a playboy??
y do everybody say i look like one??
and mostly this statement are from gals..
do i haf that playboy look??
no...
haha~
but pls leave some comments and shed some light..
im damn curious~
fyi, im a devoted person to the ger i love..
so gers, feel free to approach me..
im no playboy..
:)

-blank-

life's like the title of this post to me...
been very stressed thruout the wk..
handling 2 jobs at a go..
meetin deadlines..
juz glad that the past wk is gone and a new wk is approaching..

everything's fine now..
i hope..
gonna go for my version of "thanks-for-giving" session tmr..
hope everything run smooth..
the last time i went to tat place was when i was a lil kid during xmas...
=P

pumpfest came and went...
we climbed and fell as well...
it was as good as a open standard catt~
tat diff~
all of us din qualify..
not out of the ordinary though...
but gd experience none the less..

anyway still rem the bag i was craving for?
yep, i bought it~
at a slashed rate too~
u guys shld haf seen shaunie's expression when we told him abt the slashed price of his bag~~
haha~

chrome citizen bag on normal days, $180
chrome citizen bag on pumpfest days, $149
shaunie's expression when told of the price dfference during the interval of his 3rd and 4th climb, PRICELESS~

chalet coming up yet no one paid up yet..
wat a class eh~
sigh~
forget it..
gotta wait till tat day itself b4 they finally managed to take out their wallet~

tats it for now..
oh btw, the poem was changed slightly..
go check out the changes~
=)

lost...

i've never felt as lost as i did last nite..
i was practically devastated..
dunno wat to do...
dunno wat to expect...
the sort of feeling, i dun wanna feel again..
it's gd tat everything's settled and i dun wanna dwell on it..

lots of things happened to me..
it as though a whole lifetime of events happened to me in this short period of time..
my fren got into an accident on fri...
sent him to the hospital..
he fractured and practically broke his entire wrist...
oh forget to mention it was a bike accident..
anyway he's recovering and hope he get well soon...

i suddenly dun feel like typing anything or say anything...
multitude of emotions and feelings are coming over me..
tink will juz say watever on my mind sumtime later or not at all..

lemme end this post wif a poem i wrote at work..

falling...

Life was never good,
it'll never be...
Hurdles mounted on my path,
just for the sake of a good, hearty laugh,
especially when i fall.

What could i do to make it right?
To fight?
Or just wait for the light,
to guide thru this all.
When i fall.

miss me???
yep, did u guys missed me??
been missing for ages~
cun blame me, last wk was exams wk..
studies more impt dun u tink?
=P

anyway i'll recap watever exciting dat happened alrite?
=)

nuting much happened thruout the wk actually~
haha~
except for the fact that all out faces after weds paper was a dejected one...
all of us were like "sure fail lah", "no hope"...
and i couldnt agree more..
tat was one of the toughest paper i ever had..
=P
but i had one of the easiest paper as well~
my last one..
it was so easy tat i completed it in like 40 mins..
a 2 hr paper...
=P
act most of us finished at the same time..
haha~

after my last paper, which is on saturday, i met up wif those pk bros of mine..
we installed the hazard light together and my oh my, it's great~
couldnt haf done better~
haha~
but a bracket muz be done for the switch though..
went into jb wif them tat very same nite..
my virgin ride into a foreign land..
it was thrilling..
especially when ur normal speed is 120km/h and the fastest u can go is 155km/h~
=)
yep tat was how fast i sped~
but lets tok abt the food~
-drools-
i ate my favourite~
RAMLY DOUBLE SPECIAL BURGER~~
hehe~
guys rem tat??
it was satisfying...
when the chilli sauce drip down ur hand..
damn~
it was dat damn gd~
=)
the ride back was when i went full speed~
155km/h~~~
mind blowing speed~
=P

sunday was mother's day~
i planned my day down to the very sec~
i was supposed to go haf breakfast in the morn den went on down to get mum's prezzie..
a stress-relieving tea, supposedly being sold at paragon..
so i left home giving an excuse tat im meeting a fren...
went down town and couldnt find the damn place tat sold the damn tea~
called gdl and nut up and none of them could find that damn article tat i saw..
so i went to heeren, walk arnd and in the end got myself a pair of sunglass~
hehe~
but i went home after tat and rummaged thru piles n piles of newpaper...
me too, i cun find it...
im beginning to tink i had dreamt it instead...
so i told my dad i'll leave house earlier to get sum stuff den meet them at the restaurant for yvonne's wedding dinner...
rushed down to cine and got a handbag for my mum instead...
at least she liked it~
=)
the wedding dinner was boring..
but meeting my former colleagues werent~
we chatted and joked all nite long...
tat took the boredom away i guess~
=P

working at campers today sux..
it was tiring..
stood the whole day..
customers came flooding in by the hordes...
entertained them...
tried shoes for them..
climbed up n down~
sigh~
i wanna go cine~~
=P
tmr another long day there..
wish me luck~

MIA..

that's wat ive been doing lately isnt it??
=P
anyway it's cos i cun find the time to write anything or juz tat inspiration wasnt flowing on tat particular day...
:p

hm...
let's see wat'd happened to me recently..

anybody saw a bunch of 20 phantoms on the road in weds nite??
did ya spot me??
haha~
but imagine this..
20 of us riding on the road wif our exhaust roaring out loud..
intimidating isnt it?
other than the other 5 harleys, we WERE intimidating..
it was one hell of a fun outing wif those guys frm the pk...
the riding part was of course the fun part..
they brought me to this place, wonderful for a make out session...
seletar dam..
secluded, facing the sea...
every aspects included for a session wif u and ur loved one~
=P
it was a nice place wif cool breeze and funny company~
gonna do it more often..
=)

had to study even on a public holiday..
sigh~
met up wif "8" at shaw towers to study..
but i was shock to find out tat there wasnt a single table available at my fav study haunt..
den guess we went??
changi airport...
last resort i guess..
but it was a nice n condusive environment for a study session..
or shld i say chitchatting session..
haha~
guess we toked as much as we studied~
dinner was great except the price of it..
ate at swensons~
the chicken baked rice rulex i tell ya~
not to mention their trademark ice cream...
=P
there was this family of caucasian sitting nearby wif a kid in his stroller..
"8" couldnt help herself and kept on teasing n playing wif the kid..
when i turn arnd and played wif him, he frowned...
??????
im experiencing the shaunie effect..
damn~
his dad smiled at me and i juz said "he juz doesnt like me"..
and tat is so true...
n i tot only shaunie would haf this effect on kids...
=P

pay cheque is in everybody~~
=P
got a dillema now...
shld i spend it or save it..
cos if i wanna go on a trip at the end of may i gotta use the money..
i wun be getting my pay for the next mth so soon..
guess i shld put it on hold but chrome is calling...
wat shld i do??
the hatyai trip is very enticing..
i wanna go...
oh i forgot to mention tat we'll be riding there...
=P
how fun it's gonna be..
gonna mod my bike there as well..
i really like the handlebar which resembles a shadow...
make my bike look bigger..
hehe~
shall consider it real clear b4 i make my decision i guess..
any help is welcome on the tagboard~
=P

study study study study study...

tats wat everybody's doing these days..
exams..
the dreaded 5 letter word..
if only im in tat new poly, republic..
where exams and tests are juz a story of the past..
yep, they dun haf tests and exams and the students are judged according to their assignments and projs...

went climbing yest after a suspension of a wk or so..
really felt gd at the beginning but started to "nua" after a while..
as usual..
haha~
but the workout after tat is tiring..
no thnx to fin fin the arse~
haha~
but it was fun...
=P

ikea was the next stop for our usual practice of hot dogs...
or shld we call them cold pussies frm now on..
hahaha~~
it was a term coined yest due to jappo's influence on me..
he started out wif cold cat and i juz changed it into cold pussies which haf a better ring to it..
i like my "pussy" to be filled wif ketchup...
so if u juz let ur mind wander a lil...
wat does ketchup and pussies got in common??
hahaha~
tat made me, jappo, fin and yandao(keith) burst out in laughters..
and mind u, we were loud~
haha~
we carried on wif more "jokes" before headin home..
guys, we shld really stop makin such comments and jokes while eating again..
it's not healthy for out tummies, quoting my doc..
=P

gotta go down to campers to settle some sales stuff..
i forgotten i was carrying my fake MS pouch and walked into the shop..
and tat stupid santoso spilled the beans abt the origin of my pouch to da boss~
got a lecture frm them..
sigh~
not my fault wat~
not working for them den..
damn tat santoso~
haha~

today was a relatively uneventful day..
nothing much happened except the pretty lady in exec clothes sitting beside us while studying...
hahaha~
okok...
im not a pervert nor wat u guys term a "colour wolf"..
but she was enticing me in everyway possible..
cos she was sitting directly in front of the direction i was sitting..
she crossed her leg and her very mini-skirt wasnt covering much..
but she was pretty..
gotta give her credit for tat..
=)

fate...
wat is fate?
can man actually control fate or izzit juz an inexplicable event bound to happen?
i tink it's the latter...
no matter how u try to change it, it'll still creep up to ya..
weird but true...
but fate is playing a game wif me...
im happy in this material world but never in the world of my heart..
as steve taylor yells "there's a hole in my soul that's been killing me forever"...
there is tat gap there to be filled by tat four letter word...
my best fren juz reminded me tat im single for like 3 yrs already..
hence this column of love~
wonder when fate would actually stop playing and give me tat thing to fill the gap...

long long time ago....

y the topic for this post??
cos this is gonna be along story telling session tats y...
u guys requested it, u guys get it~~
=P

let's start wif school...
lessons is officially over for this sem..
or so they say..
we gotta go back to sch juz to finish up this assignment we couldnt complete on time cos of cancellation of lessons due to SARS..
wat a long sentence..
but anyway it's crap i tell ya..
eating time into our study break..
we still gotta study for exams if u hadnt known~
SUCKERS~
projects are all completed..
none to worry, none to tink abt..
this feeling of burden-less is so free..
like a bird in the sky...
like a fish in the sea...
u get the idea...

everyone gotta get their temp taken as a precautionary measure in sch..
i dun mind taking it as it's my "social-responsibility" but can they not be too paranoid over it...
a little sore throat n they advice u to take the test at a later date...
i tink it's too much...
juz let he/she take it...
it's juz a harmless sore throat..
pe-leassssssssee~~~~~~~~~
=P

haven climbed for a wk~
i feel so heavy bottomed and decomposed..
haha~
serious man..
need to climb soon~
and tat would be tmr~
yeah baby~
was buying dinner at taka and saw a wall there~
i ran down to the main atrium n bouldered for a lil while..
saw zaki n gang there..
apparently osim hired them to built a wall for their promotion purpose..
i miss those tiles i tell u..
-sniff-
-sniff-

work was tiring today..
all the way to 10~
boredom~~
but finally get to go home~
gave a lift to one of the gers there...
n she held on for dear life during the entire ride..
never am i gonna pillion anyone hu said their afraid of bikes again..
never am i gonna try to help them overcome their fears...
never am i gonna insist them taking it...
never am i gonna be tat stubborn anymore...
she held on so tight, i had trouble breathing...
:P
but got her home safe n sound n she enjoyed it..
so i guess it's alrite..

i cun believe my rotten luck..
how rotten can it get..
i got summoned twice in 2 days..
for the same offence for the same amt of cash~
$8 each on the count of not putting parking coupon...
i overlooked the fact that those makchiks are damn onz although it'a a saturday nite..
but today, today was a damn mistake which shldnt happen..
i completely forgotten to put the coupon although on my way down, i reminded myself..
only rem when i went to buy dinner..
damn~
another 8 bucks..
16 bucks in total..
wat a freaking waste of money, i tell u..
so kids, never follow my mistake..
=)

had a gd n thorough tok wif sumone last nite..
she made me realise things which ive been blinded before..
she made me realise i never knew wat life was abt in the first place..
she made me realise im living in happiness although i tink im not...
thnx a million babe~
things start to seemed clear to me..
i know wat i shld do...
=)

exams are in 2 wks time..
after tat, it's game over for this sem..
and next sem would be the crucial one..
cannot afford to slip up..
i cun..
i wun..
a resolution made on the 28th of April 2003, 12:15am
so guys, help me out when im off will ya?
=P

medal of honor...

i shld be awarded the medal of honor~
haha~
y???
cos i caught a thief yest..
and the thief ITself is a category of humans which i detest the most..
hehe~
guys who're close to me noes wat im toking abt..
anyway the story goes like this..
i was helping to tend the stall of my neighbour cos she need to use the ladies..
den this lesbo couple came in..
the butch was fidgeting abt the rows of necklaces and juz took one of it and grasp it tight in IT's hand..
i noticed it and waited till it left the stall...
den i approached it...
me: "Can i see wat's in ur hand?"
it open up her palm..
me: "was tat frm the shop?"
it: "oh, i forget to pay for it"
me: "u noe wat's tat called? stealing..."
it: "im going in to pay now"
i took the necklace and walked back to the stall and it followed me back..
the best part was that when it paid, and the salesger in the shop told it it's $5.80..
it exclaimed "wah so cheap ah??"
if it's dat cheap y steal??
DUMBASS~~~~~

i tink u guys shld read Tuesdays with Morrie...
it's a, i muz say, a life influencing book...
a true story abt the author's visits to his sick professor b4 he died...
the quotes frm morrie, who is the prof, is wat i call wall banging...
it's like after u read it, u feel like u've banged into the wall and "BANG", some sense was knocked into ya...
and doubts u once had was much clearer now...
not obvious but clearer...
im not afraid to admit tat i was touched to near tears..
although it's a thin book, it's life changing..
give it a try..

anybody watched final destination 2??
they were saying tat signs would appear to tell u wat would happen b4 it actually does..
believe in signs??
signs been appearing arnd for me..
things tat show the "path"...
or shld i say quotes and horoscope..
=P
anyway things had been like hinting me to do wat i've been doubting for quite some time...
i daren't move forward according to these signs..
n i dun tink i shld do nuting...
maybe i shld juz belive in those signs eh??
=)
i guess it aint there for nothing..

posts of absentees~

this gonna be a long post..
warning had been sound~

yest, gd friday..
2 days b4 tat, my grandma asked me to go church wif her..
i say see first..
i dunno y..
to me, i dun mind going to church and all but im afraid i'll offend my parents who by the way are buddhists..
i am, wat i tink i am, a free thinker..
my belief is tat there is a god above and all this religions are juz hear-say, rumors, stories of wat humans(us) made up to make ourselves believe in sumthing...
so for me, i juz believe in that god above..
=)

caught johnny english yest wif the nut...
it's a lame movie..
lame till the point by which u cun stop laffing~
serious man~
it's damn lame..
rowan atkinson is back to his best, impersonating a "talking" mr bean...
it's a spoof of james bond..
down to the very details..
aston martin, babes(natalie imbruglia, drools~~), villians wif evil scheme, and punch lines..
except for this case, the punch lines are as lame as it can get..

had the dreaded lab test today..
first time i actually know wat's going on in there...
got the prog running but not exactly the way they want it...
but lets's hope it's enuff to pass me..
-prays-, really HARD~

met up wif the bitch later on at orchard..
had a fun tok wif her at ya kun..
listening to stories of gers walloping guys..
scary i tell u..
juz hope i dun get such fiesty gers..
i cun handle it~
haha~
but they'll be fun in bed~
hahahaha~
got myself a tee wif a colour no one expect me to get~
haha~
it's more of jappo's colour..
a PINK tee..
the pic is at the end of the post..
go check it out and leave ur comments..
=P

The Tots Column:
the rain sux..
it had been raining consecutively on every afternoon since last week..
bad bad news for riders like me..
my 2 rain coats are left hanging cos of it..
pls juz stop this temperamental weather..
i cun take it~
=\

it's juz a sudden surge of tot but had anyone of u actually tot of this??
wat's the diff btw making love and sex when they're both referring to the same thing...
did a quiz on virgin and the results showed tat im an idealistic virgin...
the sort which tinks tat sex is making love and it's sacred and tinks tat it's the perfect thing if being done to the one i love...
and i muz say they're spot on...
to me, sex is done btw 2 individuals juz out for the thrill n doing it for fun..
while making love is when 2 individuals, really in love, willing to sacrifice anything for each other are doing the same process..
to me, i prefer making love..
if it's not making love, i'll rather not do it..
i may stay a virgin forever wif this mindset..
but i find tat it's morally correct..
rather not go against my conscience..

ever felt like a door stopper??
used to hold on there for a while, den when ya of no use, a slight kick of u and u're out of the way...
i do~
i felt like it..
sumone was stranded sumwhere cos of sum circumstances..
so sumone called me...
beated arnd the bush..
hinting here n there for me to meet up..
but i cun meet for long so i told it straight to sumone..
sumone said will msg again..
but up till this post, haven a single thing frm sumone..
most prob sumone had other company and this door stopper is kicked away..
im not surprised..
kinda expected it as well..
i tink anyone would also feel like wat im feeling now...
hurt...
or maybe im too sensitive...
but still hurt...

here is the pic of my nice pinky tee~
juz love the astro boy print on it~
hehe~
=P


nice????

pictures...

nothing much for the day..
except spending another $30 on my wife and staring at the comp the entire day..
=P
but here it goes..
for ur eyes' pleasure...


this was a party for jess cum chinese new yr party at my place.. bbq and karaoke n stuff~
frm left to right, clockwise:soprano, gdl, princess, jappo, timmy, mr veins' legs, pea and fin


@ eun's place during chinese new yr as well..., in fact it's the day after the event above~
frm left to right, top row: soprano, nut, gdl, princess, 2nd row: jappo, me n mr veins


ever wonder wat it's like frm the top? this is a view frm the top, of the rock wall tat is~


can u spot the odd ones?? hint: it's the smiling ones~ =)


ever wonder how the maker of me looks like? there they are~


here is a bunch of pple i spent my pri sch days wif... geeks, nerds, yandao(me) u name it,
we got it.. haha

chrome....

i tink chrome is the brand of the moment man..
everybody's targetting a chrome bag...
including your highness, here..
=P

but today, finally we got ourselves a first buyer..
haha~
finfin and shaunie bought it..
fin bought the mini-metro, jet black..
while shaunie bought the citizen, orange..
for me..
i gotta wait till i get my pay~
at the end of the mth..
sigh~
still few wks ago..

had weird dreams last nite..
i dreamt i screwed my test on saturday up~
wonder if it's a sign~~
hope not~
and after tat i dreamt tat i was backpacking..
in SINGAPORE~~
wat the heck~
but tat wasnt the point..
i was swimming in a reservoir?
huh~
haha~
but tat was it..
the best was tat i dreamt of chloe~
hehehe~
guys, this aint a wet dream..
relax~
hahaha...

today's pics section's theme is grp shot..
take a look...


this was taken on the eve of my bdae, went out to celebrate.. as u can see, i was flushed.. hehe~
frm left to right: mr veins, finfin, me n shaunie


this was of the same event as above...
frm left to right: nut, pea, princess, judo chick n soprano


this was taken in a starbucks outlet in patpong, bangkok.. it's the a-go-go area of bangkok.. hehe~ lots of topless bar there~
frm left to right: dustbin, my bestest fren and ME~


it was chinese new yr @ nut's place.. quite a fun event~
frm left to right: me, nut(standing), jappo, soprano n mr veins

pictures of the day...

oops!
forget to post the pictures for the day..
anyway fin complained there weren't enuff pics of my frens and too much of ME~~
haha
so here goes some of u guys man~

note: all pics below are taken during princess' farewell dinner at marina south~

this is a pic take b4 the dinner commenced wif a few of us gathered together...

frm left to right, standing: judo chick, jappo, soprano n nut
sitting : "cun rem his name", timmy, me, mr veins, fin n pea

this is of the babes and the er... not so babes~ hahaha~
dun u find yoke lin aka pretty babe pretty~
i find it so~
hehe~

frm left to right, standing: pretty babe(haha), nut, soprano, judo chick
sitting : gdl, princess n pea

this was as usual a sabo pic wif me being carried up by the guys..
jappo started to split my leg first den fin followed... hence the crotch showing~
haha~

frm left to right, standing: shaunie, timmy, "cun rem his name"
sitting : mr veins, fin, me n jappo