tis the season to celebrate..

nono, this aint gonna be another xmas post..
maybe a small part of it but not all..
trust me..
:)

anyway it's this time of the yr when i feel bliss n am extremely joyful..
lets see the reason..

25 dec = xmas
27 dec = anniversary
01 jan = new yr
04 jan = my bdae

4 diff occasions to celebrate and 4 diff occasions be joyful over..
maybe it's a lil too pack but it's still worth to feel "high" abt..
:P

xmas was great..
went down town wif my dear pammy on xmas eve..
did some really last min xmas shopping for her mum n my dad..
but in the end, we shopped for her instead.. haha~
anyway dun worry, we still got the presents needed..
it's kinda our xmas tradition to catch a movie on xmas eve already..
we caught train of colours last yr while we watched KONGFU this yr..
it's hilarious i tell u..
i couldnt stop laffing frm start till end man..
juz treat it as a slapstick kinda comedy wif not much of a storyline n u'll enjoy it..
not like some frens of mine who watched expecting a great storyline but in the end came out disappointed..
wat can u expect frm stephen chow~
:P
the walk down orchard rd after the show was a killer..
barely a foot width for us to walk without brushing another's shoulder..
n how i hate those indians who would juz stand there and spray sum "snow" on to gers they tink are hot..
yes i agree the "snow" adds to the xmas spirit but still it's uncouth for to aimed it at sumone..
got convinced by pam to get a can of "snow" myself..
n guess wat we did..
we sprayed it along the road while riding..
haha~
tat was fun..

xmas day was a day spent wif family n frens..
met up wif the guys in the noon..
it's been ages man..
they seemed alrite after bmt..
haha~
tot shaun might collapsed or wat..
:P
had dinner wif my entire family..
uncles n cousins n all..
pam received sum presents frm them n couldnt stop brimming..
guess she'd received tons of it this yr..

now, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my lil darling~
13 months together..
din expect to make it this far..
altho we almost din make it but am glad we act did..
i wanna see thru the 130th n the 1300th mths together..
the latter which i doubt would happen..
but it's great looking forward to it..
love u, miss u n dun wanna lose u..
:)

renovation contractors..

my entire platoon is being employed as renovation contractor for our coy's recreation room..
and the deadline is 22/12/04..
which is less than 2 wk frm now..
best part of it all is tat we juz finished whitewashing the wall today..
n we got so much more things to go..
the oc even wants some sort of fading effect on the wall..
he muz be crazy enuff to tink tat we're REAL contractors or some sort i guess..
but on the bright side would be tat i could book out!!
:P
juz so to run some errands for him and buy the materials needed..
not tat i mind it at all..
really need the breath of fresh air..

now on to the civilian side of my mind...
im really contemplating hard on furthering my studies..
okok, i admit im not much of a scholar but it's damn essential to me..
i can safely tell u now tat i WONT be doing wat i've learnt..
IT isnt my niche at all..
now im tinking whther to get a part time diploma in mass comm or save up during tis 2 yrs n pursue a full time diploma at ngee ann..
but the latter would waste another 3 yrs while the former i get to do it concurrently IF i get an office hr vocation(which im really praying hard for)..
weighing both up really seriously..
it's my immediate future after all, now dun tink den when??
=P
but another issue would be the cash..
i doubt my parents could see me thru another paper qualification man..
gotta do it all by myself..
hm.. dun u find im always in a dillema??
-grinz-

the dust had settled and im really glad..
couldnt contain my grin at all man..
my teeth were showing, n my mouth was stretched to the fullest..
haha~
but anyway lets not tok abt it anymore..
juz looking ahead n trying my best to wat i can n more to right everythin tats wrong..
thank you~ =)

cherish n treasure...

now i fully understand that a person would not noe the real value n importance of sumthing or sumone till he/she loses it..
im feeling it real dearly rite now..
real close to the heart i muz say..
i realised tat *** is an integral part of my life..
and i find tat my earth stops revolving whens *** gone..
now all i can do is let time tell whether my earth would start spinning again..

i shldnt haf took things in stride n tink tat all's well..
when i noe deep down inside the problem lies wif me..
but all i need is time to get rid the inner devil in me..
and of course another chance..

im not gonna dwell on the pessimistic part..
it's useless as i doubt tat would get me anywhere..
but i shant give up as well..
the **** i haf is too strong for me to put it off..
would instead do all i can to show *** that i would do watever i can to make things rite again..
n i swear by it...

oh yah, now on to some happier news..
altho it doesnt seems to matter to anyone...
we celebrated our first yr on saturday..
gave her a surprise a wk ago by bringing her to a hair stylist in town for a mini makeover..
altho tat "mini" costs a bomb.. :P
she got her hair styled, cut and highlighted..
she was very happy wif tat and couldnt be more delighted..
we din do much on the actual day itself cos i've no $$$ left..
sorry~
how i wish i could do more but due to limited resource..
next time ok?? promise u a better one..

now here's a small gift i gave her on the stroke of midnite..
a poem written by me..
-grinz-

Love at every sight
The sight of you makes me crumble,
as i fall and fumble.
I can't take my eyes of you,
as you're stunningly beautiful.
My heart beats a million faster,
as we get inches and inches nearer.
I'll gladly be your fool,
as long as i get to view and indulge in you.


to end it all, i hope everything would be resolve as soon as possible..
cos seriously speaking, im living on the edge of the earth till the day the dust settles down and everythings clear to us all...
***ymmap ia ow***(=P)

celebration n jubilation..

happy title eh??
:P

hApPy BiRtHdAy dArLiNg DeAr~~

she finally turn legal of age at 18..
hehe~
but one thing is for sure, she doesnt behave nor tink her age..
wat are we gonna do for her bdae?
not gonna reveal..
juz go to her blog n read abt wat happen tmr i guess..
haha~

to my deariez pam: haf a wonderful bdae ahead wif me and hope u enjoy it.. :P love u and we've almost spent all the special occasions in a yr together liao.. :)

trust n betrayal..

some tots on the above mentioned topic..
y when there's trust, there's bound to be betryal some where down the line??
and den leads to another question..
y cun a person forgive n forget??

trust is forged when confidence arises and u noe jolly well tat things wun go wrong..
but when such a thing starts to occur..
the betrayal would come in..
be it a minor or a major one, it's still one...
and behind every betryal, there would be a logical and reasonable reason..
maybe accepted or may not, highly dependable on the feelings of the victim..

sorry really seemed to be the hardest word..
cos i find tat this 5 letter word could really appease tons of things if used at the right place n the right time..
of course some actions gotta be shown as well cos "it's only words"..
but at this pt in time..
how can the trust be build back up to the time of betryal..
as the saying goes, "Rome isn't build in a day."...
does the time needed to build it back be the same as the time it took to build it??
or does it need a longer time this time round??
sum stuff to ponder abt...

now it's time for sum jeryd's philosophical quotes...
"It doesn't matter how many "I Love You" you say in a relationship, but it's the number of times you can accept "I'm sorry" and carry on that matters."
hope u guys out there understand wat im trying to say..
but tats wat i really feel..
n executing it at the same time..
:)

random tots..

random tots not in order of anything..
so in case u "catch no ball" after reading, i've already warned ya..
:P

POP soon..
in like 11 days time..
looking forward to it man..
but i really hope i can make it to the band..
dun wanna go anywhere else..
cos for sure, i hate regimental life n i dun tink i wanna continue on for the next 2 yrs in the army chiong sua-ing..
worse come to worst, guess i gonna do wat almost everyone else is doing...
chao geng~
but at least i'd completed my BMT phase n proud of it~
:)

the phase aint hard but i wun say it's easy as well..
to tink that im in the company everyone warned me against..
but i can tell them now ive been there n done tat~
haha~
but lets juz hope i can run faster~
need to get a better timing for my SOC..

i really do agree tat in the army is when boys become men..
cos in here, u get to see the vast array of homosapiens out there..
some pretend to be ur fren while sum are juz plain irritating..
i can give nicknames to almost all 50 of them in my platoon..
but i shant list them here..
u guys wun understand anyways..
:P

i would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate my bud, shaunie on his latest catch..
a fine one i muz add..
and sumone whom i guess understand him well..
:P
and i juz love this sentence, shaunie, dun hate me for adding this in..
for sumone like him, he sure benefitted alot frm sumthing he doesnt gives a damn abt..
but tats wat i call fate or destiny..
all the way bro~

my sweetheart had started her work not too long ago..
i haf to forsake my wkends wif her..
not really entirely but greatly reduced i guess..
trying very hard not to make a big fuss out of it..
but im juz too whiny not to..
for tat i apologise to my dearest..
but the feeling of being alone sux esp after being trapped on an island aka alcatraz~
guess i gotta see things in a brighter light like i did for most things in camp..
for this case, it'll be im gonna receive more gifts frm her once her pay arrives..
haha~
juz kidding..

i dunno how u guys feel abt instinct, gut feeling or even premonitions..
but i kinda feel tat "the one up there" had gave me the ONE..
for those who followed this boring n nagging blog since day one, u noe wat i mean..
i've really never felt so strongly n felt so sure abt sumone b4..
it's like i can see the future and noe wat im gonna do already n wif whom..
sumthing which ive never tot abt..
but it's still a long long way to go..
confidence level is high tho..
and for those sceptics, it aint a one sided view..
:P

it's late, juz finished my bombing of toilet bowland...
it had been held up inside there for the past 7 days..
it's due to come out sooner or later ya?
:P

juz back frm my 7 days field camp..
tires u down mentally n physically but wat doesnt kills u makes u stronger..
gave me a nuthing-can-get-me-down feeling now..
other than the tekan sessions we had, the camp was act enjoyable in a way..
learning tactical positions, combat movemonts and camou as well..
trench digging was the worst one could get..
but luckily tat happened only after we enjoyed our sweet sweet bath and cookhouse food..
tat is wat i call welfare man..
after this ordeal, it made me appreciate things more..
like my bunk aint tat bad compared to the shellscrape...
parents nagging aint tat bad compared to sargeant's shoutings..

but thruout this all, i miss my ger the most..
did a dumb thing but i guess that is the only way i can get thru the 7 days w/o wanting to commit a suicide..
:)
i act pasted a pic of pam n i underneath my helmet..
den like an idiot, i stared blankly into the helmet whenever i feel like shit..
buddies who noes, let me carry on..
arses who dun, called me crazy..
now i noe, there would always be one thing tat can get me thru anything..
-grin-

went out wif her today..
the entire day..
:P
had fun walking arnd, window shopping..
and the jap dinner was gd~
a way to celebrate our 9th mth together..
time really passes fast when u're having fun..
it had already been 9 mths..
seems like yest~
anyway im looking to forever wif her, so 9 mths is short i guess..
:)

new post, new life..

life in army aint as welfare as most would tink it is..
in the most shiong coy as many had warned beforehand..
but tink i'll managed it unscathed..
cos of one single driving force i haf to get me thru this ordeal..
my darling pammy..

her voice every nite practically brought me thru life everyday..
if not, i guess i'd ben dead..
:P
but tats juz love i guess..
w/o tat, i guess my world would juz stop spinning..

graduation last wk..
got my rightful diploma already..
booked out juz for tat event..
kinda glad cos it was my first bk out n i get to see my dear again..
:P

went everywhere wif her when im out..
juz to make up for last time when im in there...
but i doubt it's enuff..
lets juz wait for block leave..
:)

thnx deariez for changing my blogskin for me..
its very nice n i like the stroll by the beach..
wif u of course..
hehe~

i noe it's been hard on u wif me in army and wif u out here w/o my presence..
but dun worry, everything's gonna end in a mth's time..
bare wif it..
wun be seeing u for the next 2 wks..
we had went by 3 wks w/o seeing one another..
2 wks aint gonna be tat bad rite?
:)
i love u and would always will..
tho u wun be hearing my voice nor seeing me, u'll noe im always rite there in ur heart..
:P

end of the road..

yep, it's the end of the rd for my bloggie..
gonna enlist n report at tekong BMT sch 2 at 0830hrs..
it's like so fast, a bat of an eyelid and i gotta enlist already..
but juz serve n f**k off..
:P

wun be bloggin for a very long time i guesss..
booking out days are for my dardar and slp..
:D

nuthing much to say now but juz pray for me..
7th mth's coming n im still in tekong..
haha~
anyway cya guys out there..

PS: for my darling, it's juz 2 wks.. bare wif it..
save all ur hugs n kisses for den ok?
:)

events of the days...
 
wat had i been busy with??
plenty..
had to be a carpenter, plumber and electrician..
not to mention a handphone purchaser, bowler and movie critic...
 
but i guess the major change on me gotta trace all the way back to last friday..
hm..
I SHAVED MY HEAD!!
in preparation for my enlistment..
this thurs.. sigh..
it's damn sucky to be involved wif such crap man..
but lets not whine here..
 
deariez' kitchen tap came loose, cos of her~
gotta help her dad to repair the thing cos of sum size issues..
:P
anyway had to run tons n tons of errands juz to buy the parts needed..
but i guess to be the Tan family's son-in-law, i gotta do such stuff ba..
rite my dear??
:D
 
this may be my last post for god noes when..
army life beckons..
i really dun care wat torture im gonna endure, cos i noe whenever im down n out,
there would be an angel in the form of pamela tan peini to cheer me up,
to soothe my pain and to be my side always..
i noe u dun like to hear this but.........
LOVE U PAMMY~
LOVE U LOADS~
hehe~
am i mushy or wat?
:)
 
 

skin, skin, skin...

so how's this new skin?
u dun like it??
who cares..
I LOVE IT~

not juz bcos it's being done beautifully n perfectly by my darling pamela..
but i dunno y, the bg graphic juz hits me as beautiful and attractive..
maybe cos i like the sea..
but the breaking of the wave on the stones are wonderful..

guess she knew i'll like this..
thnx darling..
love u loads till im cremated..
:D

overdued..

yes yes my dear fans, this post is long overdued..
as u can see, this skin is totally out of character of me..
but it wasnt me who changed it..
guess who?
no prizes for guessing it rite tho..
hor darling??
=)

wat had i been up to since?
been to several places..
went to bangkok for a wk long holiday..
wif my darling..
went there a rich man, came back a beggar..
u noe wat i mean??
haha~
but had lots of fun there cept for one stupid mistake frm me...
i lost her digicam..
:(
left it in the cab i guess..
but lets not dwell in the past yah?
:P

been slacking all the way since the end of the semester..
juz waiting for my enlistment in slightly less than 3 wks time..
not anticipating it but i haf not much of a choice do i..
seeing my frens leaving one by one really make me sit up n realise my turn's next..
so frens, fans, this may be my last post till i can bk out frm camp..
=P

went to the zoo wif pammy n her nephew, ben..
had a fun time reliving my childhood..
for the record, my last visit was in 96..
:P
i noe it's ages ago..
even the animals are shifted frm one place to another..
n i dun even noe there's a pool there..
haha~
how backdated can i be..
the funny part was tat pammy was afraid of the snakes encounter while ben wanted to see it..
so ben started coaxing her by saying "yiyi not scared ok? not scared.."
was almost on the ground clutching my tummy if not for the crowd n the dirty ground there..
haha~

being 2 young pple brining a 3 yr old kid out to such places surely arouses more stares than any other thing..
i tot it wasnt such a big thing to see young couples these days..
guess they're juz not as liberal as i tink they are..
for example, this case on the bus hm..
a guy, <23..
kept on staring at our direction n scrutinising every single details abt us..
even after i sounded him off, he continued..
i guess he muz be wondering the same thing every other middle aged were tinking..
i dun mind at all wat they tink but i juz dun like the stares..
pisses me off..
wanted to confront him if not for them..
but anyway, we shldnt bring ourselves down to their level and let them beat us by their experience..
-grinz-

ciaoz for now..
miss me or not, here's a link to photos of me..
hehe~
on the trip to the zoo wif the other 2 too..
:)
-----------> pics

cinema, cinema, cinema...

anyone rem tat movie review program by tat name??
used to catch it all the time..
and i still wonder y..
haha~
:P

y the title?
cos ive been to cinemas everywhere to catch tons of movies fro the past wk or so wif dat piggy..
3 to be exact..
n one more to go..
=P
hm..
been sumtime since i had the jeryd movie review section..
tink i gonna haf a short one for this entry..

Jeryd Movie Reviews

Calendar Girls:
nuthing filthy nor pornographic abt this show..
wonder y a fren of mine tink it's sick of me to catch it..
haha~
anyway it's juz a show depicting a story which happened in england..
posing wif nuthing on for the betterment of the county hospital..
nuthing much to say abt this show..
quite draggy n boring tho..
3 thubs out of 5

Van Helsing:
WHOOHOO~
nice n eciting show..
love the creatures and action..
but kinda bored of werewolves being the arch enemy of the vampires..
but interetsing aspect as to how count dracula act mates wif his wives..
haha~
the hero won in the end..
his love died..
the usual action hero storyline..
but aint frankenstein supposed to be stupid??
hm.. sumthing to ponder abt..
4 out 5 thumbs..

Troy:
another epic movie by hollywood..
basically no suspense at all..
juz battles and sex and battles and more sex..
watching brad pitt single handedly killed more than half of the enemies' troops is kinda exagerrating..
but guess tats how the actual story goes..
achilles' heel, now i noe how it came abt..
but the way he died was very cliche..
3 n a half out of 5 thumbs..

oh yah, on a parting note..
notice the new skin yet again..
yup, same culprit..
nice but i prefer the piggy~
haha~
hor darling?
:P

bad luck...

sigh..
i dunno wat is up wif my luck nowadays..
really been down n out..
in every areas man..

monday, got into a serious accident all by myself..
skidded and both bike n rider are injured..
my new bike is in pieces man..
my heart broke together wif it..
the injuries on me is alrite compared to it..
i got 7 abrasions pts..
1 on my right foot, 2 each on my knee, elbow and waist..
to tink i wore long sleeve and long pants den..
sigh~
oh yah, not to mention my ankle and knee are swollen..
limpin pig..
haha~
still recovering frm all the wounds rite now..
sucky life man..

and den my poor piggy is down wif high fever, giddiness and she's vomitting..
was on mc yest and took gd care of her till her temp reaches a safe state..
but den the fever came back today..
but i gotta be in the office to settle my last day there..
immediately rushed down after work to look after her..
i guess a sick person is always a mean person..
so i took watever tantrums and screams frm her in stride..
and juz nurse her abck to health..
her cond improved~
thnx to me or to the med??
i dunno..
but i hope my efforts were well received..
:)

i seriously dun feel the thrill in bloggin anymore..
im juz bloggin to kill time..
guess im juz another person who jumps frm one thing to another..
but not to r/s..
:P
im devoted to whoever im wif..
hehe~
ask my pammy, she'll tell ya..
:)

porky chopy??

like the new skin?
comic strip funny?
dun credit me, give it to the apple of my eye..
pammy...
:D

she gave me a surprise by chnaging the skin herself and during one of our phone calls, she asked me to visit my own site..
was shock to see wat was happening but still, some part of me knew wat was going on already..
she knows most of the passwords for my a/cs, and so do i..
hehe~
=P
but u gotta admit, this is a very cute skin and funny strip as well..
haha~

for the title, porky chopy..
fyi, pork chop is the pet name she gave me..
hence the title..
acting cute sum mite say, i like can liao..
:P

i dunno wats wrong wif me these days..
feel extremely irritable..
very easy flare up..
weather?
stress?
money?
bike?
dunno...
but sorry darling....
:(
ctrling in progress..
hehe~
=P

guess wat guys, i passed my 2A~~
riding a 400cc bike now..
it's totally diff man..
the power n all..
damn shiok..
woohoo~
but gonna ride it for all of 3 mths..
and off i go to tekong..
sigh..
hate ns..
but no choice..

abt the prev post, i shall take my dear's advice..
not gonna reveal wat it is but i guess its the best solution now..
rite dar??
:)

5 mths we had been together..
5 long or 5 short mths?
i dunno..
but it's one of the most tumultous time i've ever had...
ups n downs, ups n downs..
more than a rollecoaster less than the sea..
but still im not letting this precious r/s of ours to go juz bcos of a hurdle in front of us...
cos ive to say, i enjoyed myself more than im sorry or hurtful..
ive never felt so strong for sumone other than u..
u're almost my everything.. but i cun live w/o u...
hehe~
love ya, and lets be strong always thru the times and yrs and decades and ever..
-muacks-
=)

y?

whoa, a hell of a long time..
but i chose not to blog it..
cos i lost the thrill of it and lost the interest in it..
but i juz need to "vomit" watever i wanna say out here..

thing happened..
gd, bad, sad, happy~
everything..
but now, there are things tat happened which made me tink alot..

am i hindering her social life?
am i wrong to be wif her?
it's like all her frens are finding fault in me..
i cun be the nasty me by rebutting my way thru cos she doesnt like me to be mean to them..
heeded her words.. and i try to control my words..
den sumthing happened..
a gd fren i muz say sumwat made some revelations which affects me alot..
she din say it, but the general consentious was that i was in the middle of them..
she cun confide in her cos i would sumwat, sumway noe abt it..
toked to dear abt it, and we both agreed tat she wun reveal anything is she was being asked of..
but she wasnt..
and she din mean for any of this to happen.. she's way hurt down inside but not revealing it..
she herself is going thru a tuff time wif all these happening..
and den now comes my wild tots..
am i hindering her..
if i am, wat am i supposed to do?
break off wif her?
let her haf all the time wif her frens..
but apparently i cun do tat..
i love her too much and i noe she feels the same way too..
y am i an eyesore?
too popular?
having too much of an attitude?
watever it is, i reallly dun understand y frenship n r/s co-exist..
i agree my frenships take a slight back seat when im in a r/s, but one thing i noe..
they are there when i need them..
they dun need me to be there 24/7, all they need to noe is tat i'll be there when they're in need..
like i noe they would..
so i really dunno y this prob would arise for her??
it makes me feel bad...
putting her in a difficult position..
another thing i juz found out..
im not gonna see her or meet up wif her for 6 days in 2 wks time...
a torture for me..
letting her take up a committment during the hols is already a blow to me..
y??
cos im enlisting soon..
n i really wanna spend as much time as possible wif her..
but i guess i'll be spending minimal time instead..
sumthng which i really dread..
sigh..

im really afraid all these events would put a strain to our r/s..
as if NS is not a big enuff hurdle..
but like an aritcle i read a few days ago..

"the quickest way to solve a prob in a r/s is to end it. but the best way to sustain a r/s is to face the prob face to face and solve it. not only would it pull both of u tighter together, it would put a sort of confidence in both of u that nuthing's a prob anymore."

i noe she tinks the same way too..
let's hope all these juz get over soon..

to my frens, thanks alot for being there when i need u guys..
tho i din pay much attention to u guys..
i noe u guys are always there~
frens always bros n sis~
=P

anyways on a side note for my darling..
im gonna try very x100 hard to rectify my current prob..
trust me..
but it aint an easy task..
be patient for the time being..
i swear i'll be better in due time..
i promise..
:)

afraid...

i felt a rojak of feelings for a short moment of a sec or 2...
there was a dash of anxiousness, frightfulness, anger and hope...
all these in a sec..
wat can make me feel so much in such a short time??
read on...

was on my way to the "in-laws" wif my darling...
was sticking on the right most lane of a 2 lane carriageway..
moving straight at a mere speed of 50km/h or so...
approaching a junction, a maroon merc vito was there inching out, trying to turn out frm the minor lane...
while i was like 5m or less frm the junction, he juz move off and was blocking both lanes of the road...
i jammed my both my brakes, horned tat blardy f***er and he din move...
i couldnt hold my brakes any longer as the bike would skid..
so i juz let it go...
and w/o my knowledge, instinctively, i swerved into the oncoming traffic and swerved back into my lane after the bloody van...
wat happened after tat was ugly..
for those hu noes me well would noe wat happened...

during tat brief moment frm the time i released the brake lever to the time i swerved back into the correct direction...
i felt tat rojak...
anxious cos i dunno wat would happen..
frightened cos i dun wnana haf any accident wif my darling behind..
dun wanna hurt her, i dun care if it's me alone..
in fact im more than happy to be compensated...
was damn f***ing angry cos tat van would haf saw me approaching as i wasnt speeding and he would haf to wait for me to go pass the junction b4 moving off...
and i was hoping i could get out of this unharm and unscathe..
for my baby behind...

during tat moment..
my eyes were opened wide..
but all i could see was a patch of maroon and blur images..
of wat i cun tell..
maybe of my darling, my family, my frens and my life..
but in tat moment of facing death, i knew sumthing..
i wasnt prepared to die..
not juz yet..
i wanna live my life wif pam..
i dun juz wanna die and never experienced wat's gonna happen in my later half of my life...
and i was afraid of death..
all those big words of "juz bring it" and "im not scared" are juz bullshit..
i was really really scared...
in fact i readily admitted i wept..
wept cos i knew i was so close to death...
and tats not wat i wanted..

im bringing a totally new view of life now..
i wanna live life to the fullest and treasure everything i haf..
cos i may die now...
after tat close shave...
im still trembling frm tat encounter...
thank whoever up there tat protected me and my darling..
thank you....


now on a lighter note..
i was asked to write abt my third mth wif my dar dar..
so here it goes..
brought her to haf a feast at marche...
we had rosti, pizza, pasta and stingray...
ate till i was bloated...
really couldnt walk..
the same goes for her..
after a walk arnd orchard..
i brought her to telok blangah hills..
sumwhere romantic wif a view to die for..
went down on my knees and gave her the ring..
act went down halfway..
cos i was a lil shy..
hehe~
put it on her and she was grinning profusely..
told her that few words which i meant it for everyhting i am..
tats abt it...
anyway love her alot..
i dunno y..
i juz love her..
now i noe y love cun be explained...
like how i cun explain how my love for her is so strong n burning...
love ya my sweetheart...
=)

love

I LOVE YOU MY DEAR PAMMY~~
and tat is sumthing i'll say to u for the rest of my life..
hehe~
like wat i say to u when i gave u the ring..
i'll keep that promise...
i swear...

PS: sorry for making u so pissed, i din mean it.. really dun...
sorry... =(

ai xin zao chan....

for the non-chinese and pple like jappo, finfin and shaunie,
the title translated would be Breakfast of Love...
-grinz-

din really wake up to a gd morning today..
dunno y, a lil grouchy and moody..
but at least she gave me a morn call..
hearing her voice n chatting wif her is a consolation to the adverse moods in me...
anyway got up n prepared for work..
feel so lethargic although today is the end of wk~

got to work wif nuthing to do and kept on imagning stupid stuff..
playing out funny storylines in my head...
till i received a message frm a particularly special, lovely, caring, pretty, cute, adorable, one-in-a-million piggy~
=P
she asked if i could leave my office for a lil while to meet her at the bus stop near sch..
i asked y and she wanna keep me i suspense by not telling me anything..
so off i went to meet her..
the moment she alighted the bus, she was grinning all the way..
haha~
reminded me of the joker in batman, u noe his permanent grin??
=P

so we rode in to sch and parked my bike..
she told me to open her bag and look for the thing..
once opened i saw a lunch box..
or shld i say breakfast box..
was damn touched~!~!~!~!
cos i was evry hungry and den she woke up early juz to make me this wonderful breakfast...
thnx darling..
=)
anyway i wanted to open it but she said no..
wanted me to eat it in the office, so i obliged..
but gotta clean her bag up frist cos she din place it in a plastic bag and the honey spilled out~
haha~

but in the end i ate it at the bike cos we had too much time to spare..
she made cheese toast and honey sausages for me..
y such a weird combination??
cos tats all she haf at hm..
haha~
but the honey was especially sweeeeeeeeet...
and the toast was especially tasty~~
maybe cos there's a secret ingredient she added tat only i can taste it..
=)
starts wif a L and ends wif an E..
hehe~

this was the first time she cooked for me..
and it was nice..
dun mind eating watever she does, even if it's charred or rotten~
-grinz-
as long as it's done by pammy, pork chop would eat it...
keke~
thnx dear, love ya loads n loads n loads n loads n loads n loads....
=)

Public Service Announcement...

This is another public service announcement brought to you by Jeryd Soh.
Jeryd Soh **DO NOT** want to be termed as a gay so he changes the colour scheme of this site to the colour of the moment, orange.
Sorry for the inconvenience caused.
=P
feedback~~
on the taggie tat is..

happiest man alive..

yep, im the happiest man alive..
to me that is..
spent the best wkend i can haf wif my darling pammy..
hehe~
everything went as planned..
a lil out but still fine..
=P
anyway juz lemme chronicle the past few days events for ya..
btw, VERY long entry impending..
hehe~

saturday was v-day, n so is the last day of my fyp phase...
wif me and a few others in the lab all saying their gdbyes..
cos we noe we aint gonna see each other no more..
unless on the street or grad ceremony..
anyways was kinda emotional thinking that this is the end of my schooling days...
out into the social world i go..
i guess although they din show it, they were sumwat like me..
tinking of the same thing..
=P

went to meet my darling at OG..
she was shopping wif her mum and nephew..
anyways i had an xtra rose frm sharon kang so tot i mite juz passed it to her mum...
u shld had seen her face..
she had the "unfair, y never give me" look...
haha~
cos i told her she aint receiving any this yr..
keke~

anyway we proceed on to sentosa for our v day date~
=P
all along the way, she was pestering me asking me where we're going..
i juz said dunno..
and she would juz pinch me, hit me while im riding..
finally when she saw harbourfront, she realised where we're heading..
=p
we walked arnd harbourfront trying to find the ferry to sentosa..
juz to realised that it had stopped it's service already..
so we gotta walk all the way back to the interchange to take the shuttle bus into the island itself..
upon reaching there, we took the monorail to M4, Palawan Beach..
hehe~
din tell her wat i planned to do..
but along the way we took tons of self portraits..
even the ladies sitting opp us volunteered to take the pics for us..
hahaha~
anyway brought her to the dolphin lagoon~
but the show wasnt till later..
so we head on down to the underwater world..
a place which i last visit 8 yrs ago..
a hell of a long time man..
anyway we saw gigantic sea turtles, dugongs, cute lil otters and DORY~
haha~
had fun making jokes of the fishes and the pple we noe..
hehe~

on to the dolphin lagoon...
the dolphins were gd..
was enjoying while pitying them at the same time...
imagine being cooped up and doing the same thing over and over again...
sigh~
bought a phototaking session wif the oh so cute lil pinkie dolphins~
managed to touch it..
very weird sensation but cool at the same time~
=P
she was overwhelmed wif touching it..
keke~

anyway we went to catch the sunset after tat..
cuddling and snuggling on the beach..
looking out to the horizon and the setting sun..
wat a romantic image..
hehe~
anyway she turned arnd and asked me to bury her in sand..
which i gladly did..
until she reverse the process and buried me..
hehe~
den i saboed her..
shant reveal wat it is in case she kill me..
but it was fun..
rite my love??
=)

anyway head on down back to my place for pizza hut dinner..
and watched the mtv awards show..
although i couldnt afford to bring her to a posh hotel nor a fancy restaurant for dinner,
we enjoyed ourselves alot wif our dine in one...
cos it's the company we're wif n not the stuff we're eating..
hehe~
anyway i surprised her wif a bouquet of yellow roses, her fav...
but the best part was she couldnt see it..
although i placed it rite in the middle of my bed~
haha~
she even sat beside it..
she liked it alot and she was surprised as i told her im not giving any...
hehe~

now for sunday's entry..
went to metro marina to shop for my business clothes..
the shirts there are dirt cheap..
bought myself an orange and pink shirt and a navy blue pants..
she requested me to wear the orange one today..
which im wearing rite now..
and the best part was tat my supervisor asked me to leave this shirt for dress-down days~
haha~
cos it's too bright and striking..
now u noe y IT personnels are the most boring pple alive...
hehe~
anyway yest after the shopping trip, went to a pasar malam near her place...
let her try the bumper cars for her very first time..
i tink she din really enjoy it..
or maybe she was suffering frm her headache..
but at least she tried..
hehe~

oh yah forget to add tat she gave me sumthing for v-day..
sumthing intimate which i doubt i shld post..
or shld i..
hehe~
anyway a clue would be sumthing i need everyday..
keke~
rite my dear??
-grinz real wide-

vexed, relieved, anticipation...

y the above 3 feelings??
read on and u'll noe..
tat is, if ya still interested in the above 3..
=P

was so damn vexed and frustrated yest man...
had my fyp final presentation yest..
was so damn happy that all of it had finally been over...
gonna move on to the next step..
but den, i gotta face some shit first b4 anything could be settled..
as my topic of proj is sumwat diff, my presentation manner differs as well..
nuthing went wrong during my mid term presentation so i tot it was ok..
but all hell breaks loose..
this cheena lect gotta give me trouble by saying tat "during my 20 yrs at University of Polytechnic, no one presented this way, so are u trying to change the tradition?"...
this was the last straw tat i cld took and of course i kept on shooting him...
in the end i juz left, had enuf of his jibberish cos of his accent...
damnit..
was really damn angry and frustrated..
luckily got my darling to comfort me...
made me smile..
if not i'll be scrooge even though it's not xmas...

feel so relieved now cos i noe where im attached to...
sumwhere near an high pay as well..
-grinz-
another thing to be relieved is tat i passed my practical and waiting for my tp test..
hehe~
finally man..
waited so long for it..
spent alot as well..
sigh..
but part n parcel i guess..
=P

wat am i anticipating?
guess???
of course v-day...
but im in a sort of dillema..
a gd one though..
shall solve it myself..
shldnt post it here...
she can see..
hehe~
but lets hope i'll come up wif it soon..
cos it's only 2 days frm now...

read a particular email...
felt very gd after reading...
it's like i knew i made sumone's day...
and the feeling is great...
it's like a sort of satisfaction that u noe sumone was enjoying ur company...
made me feel really gd..
i guess it made me haf more confidence in myself..
=P

i find that to all who tinks im a very confident person, i dun tink i am...
maybe in particular areas but in most i doubt i am..
i tink ive been putting on a facade..
for myself no less...
to prove to myself that i haf it but i dun...
or do i???
im confusing myself...
i dunno...
gotta go reflect on myself...
monkhood??
haha~
not at the moment...
or maybe not in this lifetime...
-grinz-

flu...

sigh, theres a saying in chinese tat says a wave's juz die down, another's coming up...
trying to say after one problem, another prob arises...
first it was the sars, now it's the bird flu...
when is this gonna end??
or are we going to end?
get my drift?
anyway the world would juz get it over wif..
=P

im highly jealous, highly suspicious person..
dunno y...
lack of self confidence, self esteem??
sigh..
i dunno..
juz tat the feeling would juz arise..
i noe i suck..
im sorry...
i would curb this feeling..
im determined...
this would be my NEW new yr resolution..
wat im gonna do..
man do i suck..
i still hate myself..

this week is a damn busy wk for me...
tuesday, rush my report for my supervisor's viewing pleasure...
wednesday, go for my IAP briefing.. which is a bunch of crap mind u...
thursday, PRAC 3, thrid and final one b4 my tp.. wish me luck...
friday, hendon camp fitness test aka commandoes recruitment act...
for this, u guys can wish tat i fail..
haha~
cos i dun wanna be a commando..
waste my time and my life even..
rem the death??
anyway i'll juz let fate decide...

im hooked on mahjong..
blame her mum..
haha~
everytime im at her place and they're all bored, out comes the mahjong table..
i muz say, ive been picking it up kinda quick..
but still losing..
been playing for 2 consecutive wkends..
the third's on the way...
nuthin is as stressed as playing wif her dad...
i was practically wet wif my cold sweat...
-shakes head-
but not tat bad lah..
din embarass myself..
keke~

tats it for now..
will be back wif more..
if i survive these wks..
ciao~

=)

this is a long overdue entry which i shld had done a few days ago..
anyway here it goes..
=P

time always flies past when u're having the best of times..
2 days ago was our 2nd mth together..
fast eh?
i would say this is the best r/s ive ever been in..
hehe~
anyway the day din go really well..
my plans were dashed..
cos she needs to do her proj at sumone's place..
wasnt particularly happy abt it but got no choice i guess...
picked up a bk at the library and read it till she called..
we went to my place for dinner and found out she was sick..
having a fever..
was so damn worried..
cos her temp went up to 37.6..
wanted to bring her to a doc but she refused..
so i juz did the next best thing, diagnosed by dr soh~
haha~
anyway juz prescribed her wif a couple of panadols and let her haf the bed..
while poor lil me slept on the floor..
luckily after that hr's nap, her temp went down and she was alrite..
was really relieved..
made me worried..
=|

anyway i got her 2 things tat she realkly wanted..
been hearing her bugging me abt it..
so of course she was elated when she saw it..
i kid her by saying i got her a pair of rock shoes as i packaged them in a rock shoe's box..
but she got a surprise when she opened it..
keke~
=)

i need to get my 2a going..
been stagnant for a wk..
better continue it b4 i forget wat im supposed to do~
now all i haf to do is put cash in~
=P

cny...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YR EVERYONE~
okok, i noe, it'd been ages since i last blogged..
was damn bz for the past few days..
and i mean loads of events..
shall juz post sum memorable stuff here..
for ur reading pleasure...
=P

weds was chinese new yr eve...
it's also the day where families haf their traditional reunion dinner..
sumthing which i look forward to every yr..
it's the only time when u get to see close relatives and haf a nice dinner together..
and not to mention my grandma's wonderful cooking~
=)
had a great dinner, though the food's the same for the past 20 yrs, it juz taste as gd as it cld be..
-grinz-
after my dinner, it was time to pay my "other" family a visit..
was supposedly to go to her place den on to yishun safra for a bowl..
but when i reached there, the first thing she asked me to do was to help deliver newspapers...
it was act helping her aunt out, so can i say getting paid for it..
keke~
anyways the pt being tat it was the first time ive ever done it..
and i find it to be a tiring job..
imagine 12 blocks..
each wif 12 storeys..
climbing up and down the stairs..
phew..
it's a damn tiring job i tell ya~

first day of new yr, the usual visiting of relatives...
this time round, due to the lack of a car, im riding together wif my dad..
=P
get to show off~
haha~
but cars on the road are like shit tat day man..
guess cos of the holiday mood..
but they absolutely left their driving knowledge and skills at hm..
but as usual, taxi drivers juz gotta behave themselves..
almost got into a fight wif one of them..
damnit..
wat gd luck i haf on the first day of the new lunar yr..

upon her mum's invitation, i went to her place after everything..
wasnt tat awkward as im not the only bf there..
haha~
anyway went out wif her sis and her sis' bf...
din really did much, din really enjoyed much..
but being by her side is more than enuff..
juz hearing her voice and laughter..
=)

she came over my place today..
cos she couldnt go visiting, so i asked her over so tat she cld get some "revenue stream"..
hehe~
a few of my relatives came n went..
and she got enuff to make her smile..
one thing i juz realised..
it's tat this guy who cun sit still, act dun mind staying hm the entire day...
on one condition..
as long as she's by my side..
doing stuff together..
be it tidying the rm up or juz watchiing tv..
a very blissful feeling i muz say..
=)

ns...

NS is juz a pain in the a**...
guess wat, i failed my NAPFA..
all bcos of the run..
cun complete the run fast enuf..
but i was damn shag after going thru all the other stations and the hot schorching sun shining down on me..
sigh~
gotta go train up and retake the damn test again...

went for my medical checkup today...
wanted to be like jappo..
so i added sum illnesses here n there~
haha~
but guess wat, i still got pes A~
am i tat gd??
haha~
the doc was saying only when my knee, which is the prob area, act gives way, den i may be downgraded..
i was tinking, y wait till sumthing act happens den take action??
sadly this is the tinking of sillypore's gov and of course the pple..
the IQ test was so bored i almost fell aslp..
the only exciting part is the tapping of the keyboard~
haha~

my house was empty cept of me, my darling n the dogs..
no dinner or watsoever..
so i became the chef yet again..
=P
this time round, i cooked jap curry...
it's delicious~
hehe~
go ask the person hu ate it..
keke~
after the meal, we had a karaoke session..
haha~
sang all the cheena songs and mltr...
i tink the neighbours were like cursing n swearing at us man..
:D
she has a really nice singing voice, she shld juz dare to sing louder...
rite my dear??

after the nuisance of my taggie is gone, another nuisance appeared in her blog...
wonder y there are pple out there hu can be such a pain in the rear..
i mean look at it, if u dun like it, juz ignore it..
or dun even go look at it..
save all the trouble..
if u're envious and jealous, no point cos nuthing can separate us..
(PS: the "u" used is a descriptive term, not pinpointing on anybody..)
nuisance nuisance go away..
stop buzzing arnd..
-shakes head-

how abt that...

how's this layout for a change..
i personally feel it's great..
comments can be left at the board..
shall post more tonite..
cya~
=)

changes...

hm..
my blog needs a new skin~
looks kinda stale after like more than 9 mths wif the same color scheme n sorts..
look out for it guys..
=)

juz received news tat my Napfa test is on saturday..
im not mentally or physically prepared for it man...
i hope i could get at least a silver for it...
so tat i dun need to enlist 2 mths earlier..
i can do loads in tat 2 mths..
spend it wif my darling...
keke~
tat would be my motivation..
my driving force...
to complete all the stations in the test..
=P

u noe i had this interview at NCS last wk..
din expect much..
cos i dun feel like getting picked for it...
heard it would be a stressful job..
wif all the projs they give...
but fate has a way of playing wif me, i gotta go for my 2nd interview...
hm...
i dunno man...
shld i try to impress them tmr to get the job or juz put myself down???
how how how how how???
sigh..

had an image in my dreams last nite..
i dun like tat image..
and i really hope i dun haf a deja vu on that..
NEVER...
pls....
i'll be gd...
i promise..
=)

bored....

dun u find my blog seems alot more quiet these days??
i find it lacks the type of anticipation..
for me that is...
cos i used to visit my own blog juz to see wat are u guys' comments..
be it gd or bad or lame or nonsense..(toking bout u, jap & tat)
but i gotta give n take i guess..
cos of sum person i gotta make a small sacrifice..
anyway all of u can juz leave ur comments on jap's tagboard n i'll reply there...
hahha~
=P

been jogging alot lately...
find tat i can act run round the sch w/o panting as much as b4..
and i tink i can say my stamina had improved~
cheer wif me finifn~
haha~
guess my 2.4 can make it already...
juz dun wanna go into NS early for the OBESE camp..
=P

her sis treated us to dinner last nite...
cos of all the things we've done for her??
=P
anyway the dinner wasnt tat bad..
@ pastamania, scotts...
joked our way arnd, frm dinner to the walkabt round town...
i tink yest was a reunion day for me..
firstly, met meizhen at far east..
she was my jr n PHS...
den, saw my ex classmate at a bubble tea outlet..
one of the loudspeakers...
hee~
and while walking past orchard mrt, i met the other 3 loud ones...
can call it a day of coincidence??

nuting much to say..
cept to be naggy and remind all of u guys to treasure and cherish wat u haf...
life's short...
touched 20 and 30's in sight...
=)

Public Service Announcement...

The TagBoard would be removed due to some childish act by some childish person who can't grow up.
The owner of www.jerkd.blogspot.com would regret any inconvenience caused.
Any messages that his fans would like to relay to him can be send to his email via the link at the bottom left hand corner.
For those who saw the "eye-sore" message, please just forget about it and let the matter rest.
It's because the owner of this Blog is magnanimous.

guys, shall reinforce wat shaun said, dun let anything ruin wat i haf now..
so im juz letting it go...
cheers~

smelly smelly~~

i smell like a toilet bowl now..
or even worst~~
the ammonium smell is damn pungent, it can juz kill a rat man..
or jap for tat purpose..
haha~
=P

bought the dye on sunday and my dear is here at my place to help me...
she seems professional..
dying every single strand..
and making sure it's balanced thruout..
but there were her amateur times as well..
when it dripped down my face n shirt~~
=P
now waiting for the hr to pass so that i can wash it off to see the effect..
i hope it turns out well..
tink it would..
hehe~
=)

tmr would be my halfway line presentation for my fyp..
wonder if i'll screw up..
hope not...
anyway i guess i can juz tok my way out of anything..
haha~
and next on thurs would be an interview at NCS..
haf no idea where's tat but i tink it's gonna be a formal affair yet again...
the interview would be for my attachment..
hope they pays well~
-grinz-

i dun wan to tink much..
but i love it when im wif her...
and i really wan to carry on, all the way..
but i noe the biggest hurdle is coming my way soon...
a test of love for us...
but for now, i'll cherish watever times i haf wif her...
and treasure her like never b4...
=)

happy bdae to me, happy bdae to me....

yep it's my bdae~
on the 4th...
not sure wat time this would be published after i finished typing~
=)

had a bunch of pals, closer relatives, dad's frens and of course, the VIP(very impt piggy), my dear came down for a bdae BBQ at my place on the 3rd...
the food was great i muz say..
all thnx to my grandma..
master chef~
the company was better...
had our usual digs at each other..
and of course when the clock struck 12, i was gang raped by the guys..
finfin gave me a headlock and tickled me(im xtremely ticklish)..
shaunie was holding down my legs...
dunno wat the heck was mr veins doing cos the lights were off...
but the worst was jappo..
he was wahcking me...
punches here n there..
arse...
but nonetheless a bdae ritual..
haha~
to add salt to wounds, they saw sum stuff they werent supposed to see..
and they insisted on taking evidence of it..
so they stripped me and pinned me down yet again..
den jappo was the paparazzi there taking pics n pics of me half naked on the floor..
imagine getting raped in the safest place, my rm..
haha~
anyway thnx guys for everything..
for those hu came and the presents to those hu din come but gave me a token of tots..
and of course to those who sent me well wishes..
thnx loads..
=)

went out on the 4th as well..
my parents suddenly wanted to buy me clothes for the new yr..
so i dragged pammy along wif me..
i tink she felt a lil awkward thruout the entire trip..
but i guess it's cos its the first time she's out wif them..
my dad as usual, would tell his stories to her..
but it's a gd thing, making her feel a lil mroe comfortable..
=P
bought a pair of jeans and a jacket..
nv expected me to buy a jeans frm there but i did..
cos i really liked it...
got myself a Levi's jacket..
it's damn nice i muz say..
and it's on offer~
hehe~

gonna end this whole entry wif a reminder...
cherish n treasure wat u haf now..
cos on my bdae party, i got everything i needed..
family, frens and my love together wif me...
life's short...
im gonna treasure every moment of it...
thnx all of u for being part of it..
=)

rest in peace my fren...

my classmate, one of the closer ones i haf...
had juz passed away yest due to a motor accident...
it was a sudden news to me..
recieved a sms in the morn wif that shocking news...
din noe if its was a prank or not..
but realised it wasnt when i recived the very same msg 4 times viz 4 diff pple...
devastated was the thing i felt...
immediately i wondered how did it happened..
how serious was the accident??

the entire morn was spent making phonecalls, messaging to inform our classmates...
went down to his place at abt 10+...
realised almost the entire lecture theater was there...
all there to pay their last respects...
waited till the noon for the body to arrive..
hearing wails and screams of relatives who were saddened by the incident made me emotional...
but tat was nuthing till i went into his rm and saw him lying there..
my heart had only one wish, for him to open his eyes..
but i knew tat was impossible..
the tot of how cld it happened kept on came to mind...
he's young, excels in programming and haf a loving gf..
y was he so reckless??
all my classmates were emotional..
we couldnt believe our eyes...
i myself couldnt accept it...

this showed me sumthing..
life is unexpecting..
nuthing's fixed..
he planned to take his class 2a in feb..
but he cun even see the end of jan...
it got me tinking...
it got me wanna treasure and cherish every moment i haf now..
do watvever i need and want to do..
say watever i want to say..
dun waste any precious moment in life..
life's short...

im not gonna ride recklessly anymore..
im not gonna speed on small roads anymore...
to qoute my love one "ride carefully, u're no longer single, dun let ur gf worry abt u".....
im not gonna make her worry abt me..

rest in peace my fren...
u'll always be in my memory...

HAPPY 2004~~~

yep, happy new year to everyone out there~~
it's 2004 already..
2 decades ago, i was born...
2 blardy long decades ago..
can u dig tat???
haha~

anyway this is the time of the yr when everyone will come up wif a list of resolution to do and complete in the coming yr..
BUT.. usually only one or two would be done and the rest are procrastinated...
=P
but im not one of them...
i usually try to do it..
and my last yr's resolution act came thru...
shan't say anything abt the past and lemme come up wif a list of the next yr's resolutions...

here it goes....

jErYd'S 2004 rEsOlUtIoNs...

1) first and foremost, to maintain my current r/s, and make it the best one i've ever had... wif my darling
lying on my shoulder now... keke~

2) to complete my 2A and get my big bike~

3) to maintain all my current frenships wif my frens even though im gonna be in NS soon.. sigh...

this shld be enuff for the coming yr...
dun wanna set myself to high a target rite??
hehe~
=D

anyway juz haf a happy new yr everyone..
and hoping to see all those pals i haven been seeing soon...
the yr ahead is sumthing which i cun forecast...
but all im hoping is that it'll be a gd one...
=)
-grinz-